This isn't our home..

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.”- Eph. 1:3-5

It has taken me awhile to put this post up... but I share it with all my heart. 

Wednesday March 12^th, at 2pm I received a call that I will never forget, “Jesús went home to be with the Lord.” I happened to be in a restaurant with a friend, I looked at him and said I needed to go to the car. When I got to the car I couldn’t stop sobbing- my heart was broken, how could my best friend be gone? How could someone I love so much be gone? For those of you who don’t know who Jesús (Chuy) is: let me share with you a story.

In the summer of 2007, I first came to Tijuana with my church group and fell in love with Mexico. At Sergio’s house, where groups stay, were also living 5 young men. One of them being Jesús. We became friends that first year, he was a young man full of life! In the next year, he became ill with kidney failure. When I found this all out, my heart broke in two and I couldn’t stop praying for him, and in all honesty I didn’t know him very well yet but he was special in my heart. When I moved to Tijuana in 2009, Jesús and I became very close… I started to help him a lot in his illness—taking him to the hospital, buying special food or medicine, visiting him, spending time with him. Through the years our friendship grew and he became someone that was always encouraging me in my work for the Lord. He was struggling and waiting each month for a transplant- for answers. We would take him 3 times a week for dialysis to the hospital for the last 5 years. Throughout all of this, watching his faith increase and his love for Christ beam from him was a true honor. When I would leave Tijuana, to visit home or to serve in Africa, one of the hardest people to leave was Jesús because I didn’t know if he would make it. It was a roller coaster ride of emotions that is for sure! 

This last January the Lord finally opened the door for Jesús to receive a new kidney; his younger sister was going to give it to him. The transplant was in place and we were all praying! Everything went great and he was getting better it was the miracle he had been waiting for, for 6 years! Because he was so delicate, I only got to see him once through a window, and I remember him beaming as he stood there with a medical mask on- I could tell he was smiling through his eyes. He was making fun of me and I couldn’t believe how good he looked! I was so happy for him. We would talk on the phone daily for a while and then every other day—it was wonderful to hear his voice. At the end of February he started to have a lot of pain, he went back into the hospital and we would talk some. Then, he stopped answering his phone and we got the news that his body was rejecting his new kidney and he was back on dialysis. He wasn’t doing well. We were all in constant prayer and I would call his mom to see how he was, he was in the same state—delicate and fading. Then in the morning on the 12^th of March he went home to be with his Savior.

The viewing service was a couple of days later and Sergio asked me to sing and play guitar. I walked in and seeing his family was difficult because of the pain they were feeling. I prayed a lot to make it through the songs; they were two songs that Jesús and I used to sing together. Sergio had me say a few words as well, which I wasn’t prepared for but God was at work. Through each testimony and song that night you could feel the presence of the Lord fill that room. Seeing him in the casket was difficult and I kept thinking oh how I wished that we could have been able to speak in his last week of life. His mom spoke; she told us how in his last days he wanted to thank everyone who had been beside him through it all and especially those in prayer and support. And that he was going to be dying—he couldn’t breathe anymore and he knew he was going to be with the Lord. Hugging his mom and sisters they thanked me and told me how much he had loved me. I kept thinking, I am the one who should be thanking him… I told his mom how bad I felt that I couldn’t speak to him in his last week, she shared that he would always ask if I had called her to see how he was and that he was thinking of him and making sure I knew what was going on. The next morning we buried him, things are so different in Mexico. We watched as they put the dirt on top of the casket and put the wooden cross in front of the grave… the whole process was extremely difficult. Watching his mom kneel in the dirt at his grave just sobbing, longing for him to come back, broke me to pieces. I just held his sisters as we sobbed together missing someone we loved so much. 

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” –Galatians 6:9-10

Through all of this, God was at work in the hearts of the ones that loved Jesús; he was a testimony that changed lives for the kingdom of God. It was such an honor to be in his presence as long as we did have him. In thinking back through all of the years, I do know that working along side Jesús in his illness and serving the Lord with him was one of the biggest reasons, I believe, God brought me to Tijuana. Please continue to pray for his family and all of us who loved him so much, to have peace and that Christ would fill us in this time of pain.

I know the Jesús would want me to thank each and everyone of you who have prayed and supported him throughout the years; you made a difference and were a blessing in his life and his family. Thank you so much for all of your support and prayers for me as well. I know the reason I am getting through all of this and even able to get out of bed, is from the prayers that others are saying on my behalf.

Through everything that happened, I know with all of my heart that my friend is with His Savior and they are dancing together. He fought for a long time but now he is finally completely healed and home! And I will miss him everyday but I praise the Lord that when I go home to Heaven, Jesús will be there to greet me along side the King of Kings. 

“Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves Me.” - John 12:26

What is our mission really?

What is the motive and goal of your mission? Is it to educate the children? Is it to feed the hungry? Is it to give clean water to the thirsty? Is it to bring good medical care to the needy and sick?

All of these things are a temporary help that are only prolonging a life on this earth, and preparing someone to live longer or somewhat better.

But what is our goal really as Christian, as missionaries, as workers for the Lord?

It is not to just help them live in this life but prepare them for the next. The thing is no matter how much education you give a child, no matter how much food, clothing, water, medical care… if they do not have love and Christ… they are going to hell.

If we free someone from slavery or a girl from sex trafficking but don’t give them the opportunity to know Jesus, they are still enslaved and trafficked by sin.

So many times, I see that we are putting so much focus on how well a child did in school or how they will succeed in this world that we don’t focus on what is eternally important—what they are doing and becoming for the kingdom of God. Jesus doesn’t care when you come to him if you have a medical degree or if you didn’t even finished primary school, if you adore him, love him, live for him, worship him… we are equal in His presence. We are children of God.

Sometimes I believe we as the church have things backwards in the way we look at our world. We are looking at the success rate instead of the heart of the people. What are the greatest commandments of the Lord? To love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love your Neighbor as yourself… He also told us to go and make disciples of all nations…

What are we pushing in the field? For them to know Christ and succeed in the kingdom of God OR to have success in this world? We should be loving the people where they are and helping them to see Jesus and HE will lead them to be great in the way he wants. Maybe not all of us are suppose to have a high school or college education but to reach people where we are and how we are… a high school drop out can have more success reaching people for the kingdom of God than one of the greatest scientists. I feel like the more education we rely on, the more we rely on material possessions… we don’t look towards Christ but we look at the world to fill us.

I am not saying that we shouldn’t work hard for children to educated and to succeed but maybe our focus shouldn’t be in that, but in working on their hearts. Who cares really if someone has finished their degree in university? Does God look down upon on them? Look how many people are educated and have everything and want to do nothing with our Lord.

What is the focus of my mission? I want to love people and children with all my heart and be a constant example to them of Christ. I want to teach them how beautiful and wanted they are to the Lord. I want them to love the Lord Jesus with all their hearts and be successful in this life to come. I wouldn’t love a child more if he had an 8^th grade education or a college education because we are all the creation of God and He can use us to do great things!

I want to feed the hungry, give a home to the orphaned, give clean water to the thirsty, have schools to help children learn, help the elderly and sick… but with all of those things they are just a way to show Christ to them, an open door to love them and lead them to the Savior. We are suppose to care about the poor, but not only care but give up everything to them because that is what Christ did. He had compassion on them and loved them with all he was, he didn’t pity them but saw them as they were, humbled himself to their level and showed them truth. I want always my mission to be focused on loving the people, being examples, and leading them to the Savior… speaking truth, and have the kingdom of God first in our minds instead of the success of this world, which will pass away.

"He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world!"- 1 John 2:2

Do you love me?

"No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." -1 John 4:12

I was reading through some of my old journals of my last year... and last summer I was able to preach at a church in Burkina. And I was praying a lot about what the Lord would like me to share with the people. And the thing that came to my heart was LOVE! - The love the Lord has for us (the cross.. giving his only son as a sacrifice 'ultimate love'), falling in love with the Lord, loving others, and being examples of HIS LOVE. When going through the points of the sermon and thinking through it all a story came to my heart...

Sometime in the fall of 2012, I was visiting the Old Folks Home in Tijuana, Mexico that we help out. I hadn't been in awhile because of the busyness at the orphanage. And I remember walking around to different people in wheelchairs as they sit outside in the courtyard greeting them... There was a man who rolled up to me and said, "Do you remember me?" I said, yes! I recalled in my mind of a time in the spring when a group of nurses and doctors came to help, and I was the translator for a doctor. I was his shadow helping and translating each thing so we could help the people. This man had a horrible foot infection and we were helping him. Then he said, "Do you love me?" I remember it caught me off guard, and I said, "of course, I love you so much and so does Jesus." Then he said with tears in his eyes, "Really do you love me?" I said, "yes, I love you very much!" He smiled and said, "I love you too."

Later when I was leaving the home, he saw me again and he said loudly, "always remember that I love you!" That moment has stuck in my mind since it happened. I could see in that mans eyes so desperately who much he wanted someone to love him, he just even wanted someone to say it to him. I will never forget those words and moments. I know it was Christ, I could feel that he was moving and speaking.

The Love of God is strong and mighty! It is beyond what we could ever imagine, and it shows up in all places, countries, races, languages, towns, cities, homes, etc.. I read the other day a quote... "ethnic boundaries become ethnic blessings" - John Piper.  That made my heart so happy, because it is so true.. through all of my time serving the Lord in other countries there are moments that are difficult at times with culture and habits... but after awhile when you truly invest in the people you are with, the things that were "difficult" become blessings of learning and growing and love. Of course there will always been struggles.. But I think we all need to change, if I went on to the mission field thinking-- I am going to make a difference in the lives of these people, because I have it all together -- that is not true, it is a two sided relationship... you grow and change and become more like Christ through the people as well. It is not just you giving, but you are gaining a lot! More than you could ever describe... because you are gaining more glimpses of the Kingdom of God!

Comprehending the Love of God is a process that I believe will take me until I meet Jesus face to face.

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." Luke 6:32-36

Worth more than gold...

I was wanting to write this story before but I let it pass through my mind. SO here is some stories of my time in Burkina this last year. 

Before I went to Burkina this last time, the Lord put on my heart that I should raise money for Bibles. I wasn't sure who they were going to be for or why it was so heavy on my heart but I put it out there and the response was HUGE! God provided beyond what I could have imagined. Getting to Burkina and speaking with the Pastor of our church, Pastor Valentin, I was realizing the need. He had asked if I would consider buying some Study Bibles in the tribal language for the village Pastors that we work along side. I said, yes of course, if that is a need, then lets do it!

We went to our first evangelism in a village about an hour away from the orphanage. I went with the one american girl who was there, a couple boys from the church, and around 10 pastors from surrounding villages. It was such an amazing time of fellowship. I was able to share with all the Pastors what the Lord had put on my heart! And He had told me that this was a year where the people of Burkina were ready to receive Jesus. One of the Pastors shared that he had the same vision and they had all been praying for their people to come to know Christ. I thought, how amazing is it when God speaks to two people about the same vision, and we were across the world from each other at the time and had never met before. Connections of Jesus!

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the POWER OF GOD!" - 1 Cor. 1:18

When the study bibles came in, Pastor Valentin called me to come to the church to see them. I was so excited and walked over to his home. He started to show me the box of bibles in Moore (the tribal language). There happen to be 4 Pastors visiting that evening in his home, so I said lets give them their bibles! The men were so excited and even had tears in their eyes as we handed them each a study bible in Moore. One of the Pastors said, "Tenielle thank you, this gift is worth more than gold." I will never forget those words. Do I look at my bible literally as the word of God? and see it as more valuable than gold? We can get a bible whenever we want, they are at our fingertips. But for them, it is not that easy.

In that first evangelism we took that box of bibles and gave many Pastors there own study bible and gave bibles to young believers who could read. It was such a precious time seeing their smiles and graditude. I have never seen people so happy to receive the word of God!

Throughout my time, we were able to bless a lot of churches with Bibles and lots of different Pastors with their own study bible in their own language. We even bought out the place that was selling them and they had to have more printed!

With the great gifts that people sent of donations, we were also to buy a sound system for the evangelism team to use to out in the villages, for people to hear from far the word of God. It is a huge blessing as well, and something that the team of African Pastors had been praying for, for a long time.

One Pastor came to the orphanage where I was living to thank me again for everything, we had been able to give his church I believe 15 bibles in Moore and 10 bibles in french, and then him a study bible. He came to me and said, we have been praying for months for bibles. And the Lord spoke to you to complete those prayers. I told him that I was honored to know him and be able to help them. I knew in my heart that the reason God had put those thoughts of bibles in my heart, was because of the prayers of the Burkina people. I visited that mans church on a Sunday morning to sing and meet people. In the service, he had the people who got bibles in his congregation stand up to show me where they had all went. It was amazing to see!

"My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." -1 Cor. 2:4-5

God is good and always at work! I praise Him each day for His faithfulness and there is not a day that I am not thankful for the amazing Pastors I had the honor of working with in Burkina. Their friendships are something I will always cherish. The other day they wrote me to day, "Tenielle we had a meeting for our next evangelism and we are praying for you! You are always a part of us, no matter how far away you are. Your with us in spirit and heart!" What an amazing gift! I pray for  them each day for victories in their ministries and for the hearts of the Burkina people to be open to receive Christ!

Do I bring You glory?

"With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of HIS calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ." - 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12

Lately I have been thinking a lot about if I am glorifying the LORD in my everyday walk with him. If our great Savior is pleased by my thoughts, actions, and words. I fight with my flesh a lot in different things but I try so hard to just love the people around with all that I am. I know that I need to be in prayer and in the Word more. An everyday battle as well. I seem to always find myself to "busy" with everything else that I don't just stop and look to our awesome Lord for a moment in gratitude and adoration. 

I am someone who worries about things, lately, finances have been tough for my own personal support. For the first time really in all of my years of missions, I am really low. I know the Lord will provide and I trust in Him, but there are still moments when I find myself thinking, how can I do this?!?! When the orphanage was done to basically nothing in our bank account, I thought LORD PLEASE HELP YOUR CHILDREN! I was crying and begging for the Lord to cover all of our needs. We began fighting and fighting for people to know the need. From the moment I stepped back into Tijuana at the end of September I started to fight day and night. Then in mid-October I was robbed, everything was taken... laptop, phone, passport, money, debit cards, etc... everything to be able to do my job... was gone in 5 minutes. Everyone kept saying to me, Tenielle just praise the Lord that you were not hurt! I just kept thinking about all that I had lost and it slowed me down so much. But in that slowness I had to start trusting the Lord so much more, I had to look to him with the fears I had and the worries of making it to the next day. 

I know that through each storm there is a rainbow, a promise at the end... a learning and growing time. I believe with all of my heart that my God is faithful and that through any trouble-- financial, health, relationships, etc.. that HE can cover each moment. 

As I sat in tears in front of the Lord, asking myself if I bring Him glory. If I please Him at all in my life. If I am truly living as an example... as the hands and feet of our Savior... I found that it isn't with my strength that I can bring Him glory... but just to seek Him so He can work through me.. and glory WILL be shown! 

"Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun." -Psalm 37:5-6

Pieces of my heart.

I haven't written in almost a whole year. That is pretty ridiculous. I write normal newsletters every month but since my internet was so bad for so long in Africa, I just gave up on this! So, I wanted to catch everyone up on what the Lord has been doing in Burkina Faso, Tijuana, and in my life.

I went back to Burkina Faso, West Africa and stayed for 8 months working in the orphanage Sheltering Wings. It was truly a great time of growing and learning. Some of my favorite moments were hugging on babies, building relationships with the older children, and going on evangelisms with Pastors into villages. I was so honored to work along side the beautiful people of Burkina and I know that my heart will always have a piece of Africa in it. A part of me is always there! I pray so much for the people I was able to enjoy and I hope so much for the Lord to continue the work in Burkina and have it grow tremendously. 

Me with the 14 Burkina Pastors that I had the honor of working with.

In my time, I enjoyed all of it a lot, not the heat, but all the rest was good :) But my heart was hurting for the people of Tijuana because they were struggling so much finanically. I didn't know what to do, I tried as best as I could from a far to keep helping but it wasn't enough. I prayed a lot to see if God wanted me to go back to help. And in time, He told me yes, go back to City of Angels in Tijuana and help as much as possible until I tell you to move.

So, in July of this year I left Burkina, in tears, knowing that I would see the people again but I would miss them so much. And headed home for a little bit to get all my life figured out, to move back to Mexico. At the end of September, I got in my car with my mom and we drove down from Nebraska to the orphanage. Seeing the kids again, is honestly one of my favorite moments in all of my life. Their joy, smiles, screams, hugs, and kisses uplift my heart and I KNOW that its God working! I was so happy to be back in a place that has been "home" to my heart since 2009.

Walking back into the mission, there has been some problems that I see, that I know the Lord has brought me here to help on. The most being their financial situation. I started updating all the brochures, info, and making sure people knew our need. In time, God is always faithful, and is bringing in everything little by little. Our children have never gone hungry, and it is all the Lord working! I am extremely happy and blessed to be a part of the mission here in Tijuana and also, to help in Africa as well. I don't know how long the Lord will have me here, but I am just listening to His voice until He guides me to the next step.

Our Lord is faithful, He always has been and always will be. Through good and hard times, I trust Him completely. I know without a doubt that I am in the center of God's will for my life! My favorite verse is "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 ... it reminds me constantly that when I strive after my Savior, I desire Him more, and HE puts His desires in my heart to complete! I don't believe that the desire to serve orphans is something of this world but a longing that only comes from our Lord. And I am honored to be His hands, feet, voice, and everything to love on His people and share the great news of our Savior, Jesus.