Thursday, December 22, 2011

Back in the states

My last couple weeks of Burkina are still burned into my mind so clearly. With each smile and hug, my heart is constantly there. I been thanking the Lord constantly for sending me. For opening my eyes up even more and guiding me to a country that I honestly had not heard of until a year ago. I had always dreamed of my time holding little African babies, walking the streets, being in their culture, and really seeing first hand what this "Africa" was like. I know that I only saw a glimpse of life in Burkina and the other countries or even tribes of people in the same country are so different but nothing could have prepared me for my time. God is working in Africa! He really is... and I feel so blessed to be beside a ministry that is making progress and really reaching the people for Christ.

I think back to the great experiences of really hearing the children's stories. When they finally trust you enough to open up their hearts to you. It feels like I just made progress and then I was on the plane home. I feel deep in my heart that God is calling me back to the Burkina Faso. I didn't really realize that, that feeling of something missing was there until I left... it is amazing how our hearts, when they are for God, can hold so much love and compassion.

These past few weeks have been just adjusting to the time change and catching up with friends. Sharing with them crazy stories- that truly I can't believe myself and i experienced them. I wanted to thank everyone so much for their support and prayers. And I ask you to continue to pray for me--  for my heart. I know God is working even with my time at home and I am moving onto the next step of life.

I move to Tijuana, Mexico on January 16th for at least a year.  I will be doing administration and group coordination for the mission that I have been working with for the past like 4 years. I miss my mexican kids and it seems surreal that in a few weeks I will be hugging them all again. I am not super "excited" about the new job as I am just running around like crazy trying to get caught up and learning everything. I don't know if this is my heart-- I know it is a need that needs to be filled but I keep thinking am I truly the person that God has called for this for a long extended period of time. I am playing it day by day hoping God will reveal to me exactly what He wants.

I wanted to end with my last days-- it was my last night in Burkina and we got all the kids in the orphanage together for a meal. It was a great time of fellowship and at the end they asked if anyone wanted to say a few words. Different children stood up and I was strong not to cry. I kept wanting to say--- you have all blessed me more than I could have ever blessed you. They gave me a notebook of letters- thanking me for my time. The next morning i woke up early to hug them all goodbye before they left for school. I stayed strong until 7 year old Jonas came to sit on my lap, the thought that tomorrow I can't wake up and hold you like I did everyday. Tears streamed down my face and he looked at me with a concern-- then he said, WHY!? Why are you crying?? please stop because it makes me sad. So I pulled myself together and made it through all the rest of the kids. It was almost time to leave and I knew it was time to say goodbye to Barthelemy, a young man that has become one of my best friends in my life. I hugged him and someone handed me the notebook of letters. I walked back into the house bawling my eyes out. It is so much harder to leave them... for they are so much farther away. And im not sure when exactly I can come back.

Burkina transformed my heart. It made me find more of myself in Christ and made me discover more of what breaks Gods heart everyday.