Friday, May 28, 2010

Life in Mexico

Life has been interesting but not extremely busy which is nice. I have been here a month already. I can't believe it! Time goes so fast. We are raising support right now for finishing the new girls dorm at the orphanage, building up a monthly support system for Sergio, and trying to help the orphanage out too. I am able to go and speak at a church in Ohio the second week of June. Im excited to see what God will do.

Lately I have been working at the orphanage a lot. Helping with laundry, cooking, or whatever they want. I love on the kids so much. They are my babies. The other night one threw up all over me... it wasn't very pleasent but it is life. I have become even closer to two of the lady workers here. So amazing. Both single moms and they have the most grand smiles. I have also been working with Israel (the director) to find families who need homes and other things.

I have been struggling a lot with my heart and old wounds that seem to come up a lot. God is slowing healing them and I have realized that I need to know what they are and get over them. The affect everything I do and who I am. I am so glad that God still loves me even though I am so broken sometimes. I keep thinking... how can You use me? But He does.

Sergio keeps saying that I have become their official fund-raiser for Baja Vision and I like the sound of it. I don't know exactly when God wants me to become a full time member but I have a feeling that I will be one day. I went to San Diego the other day to work in the office with Aaron (the main office guy for the mission) we had a lot of fun. He is hilarious. We are starting to work on sending out letters for Sergios support, a new newsletter for the mission, and raising this money for the girls dorm.

It is going to be the 10th anniversary of City of Angels (my orphanage) this next month. It is pretty exciting to see what Gad has done! I love hearing all the stories from Sergio. :)

Please keep me in your prayers with just everyday life stuff and letting God use me. Also pray for my people here and this city. Drug-trafficking and violence are still so apparent but we are fighting along side to save people for Jesus.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Interesting day...

Life has been kind of crazy lately but I can feel the Lord. This last weekend i was able to go work with some girls from a womens shelter and just have a fun weekend with them. I was the worship leader and i just hung out. We went to a really good church that spoke english and spanish. it was nice to understand a complete sermon haha. We also went to a youth conference/concert thing.. i didn't understand much. haha

The kids have been starting to get sick. Some more than others. I feel so bad seeing them so bad. the others are keeping busy. Yesterday I was able to go see some boys that used to live at the orphanage. I miss them a lot. They are at a place for troubled teens. We plan to build an extra building for that ministry at the beginning of June.

Today was my interesting day.. I woke up early to be able to leave with Sergio to go to Ensenada (a town about an hour south of Tijuana). He picked me up and i was not feeling all that well so i didn't eat much breakfast. Well we got to Ensenada and drove to the hospital to see Sergio's son-in-law who is really sick. I got to his room and Raymond (his son-in-law) told me that he is good but a little tired. he said "when i was at my worst I saw Jesus and I saw my name in the book of life but He told me you have to go back its not time yet. And i am happy to be here or to die because either way I am with Jesus." I almost started to cry to hear him talk about his amazing faith and trust in the Lord.

Well the nurse came in to take some blood from him and we were standing over to the side talking to the two other patients in the room. One we might take to the hospice because he has no one and needs to be leaving the hospital soon but can't take care of himself. he is so young. Anyways i was standing next to Sergios daughter, Suzy and i started to feel really warm and light headed. I put my hand on Suzy and the next thing i knew i was on the floor and everyone was talking to me in spanish in my face. I just said i don't know. Finally Suzy was translating and they got me up to sit me in a chair. I have never fainted before really... i think its because i hadn't eaten much and this sickness going around. They thought i couldn't handle the hospital and i was like i work in a hospice and have seen far worse haha.

It was so interesting and everyone was so worried about me. I felt so scared that i couldn't remember stuff.. i almost started to cry. Suzy got me something to eat and Sergio prayed over me. He told me "I was so scared all I could do was pray cause I didn't know what was happening. You were so pale and your eyes were wide open but you were not there." I hugged and thanked Suzy for catching me and helping me. She said "when i hug you i feel like I am hugging my daughter. You are so precious to us and never stop using the gifts that God has given you." I almost cried.

Sergio and I were talking as we were driving and he said, "i thank God for you that He gave us you to help us with this mission and you are so amazing." i almost cried because they are all so amazing and special. Then we almost got in two wrecks on our way home. Such a tough day, all i wanted to do was go to sleep. haha.

I got back and found out that some of the kids were worse so i went in to talk with them and see what they needed. I love these people so much. The Lord has opened a door and a group asked me to come to their home church in Columbus, Ohio to talk about Tijuana and sing. They are paying for me come and they will raise money for the mission! I am so excited.

I think that is it for now. I feel so blessed to be here. the kids have my heart and amaze me everyday.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

opening my eyes

Hello everyone,

Life has been crazy the past ten days. We have had lots of groups come to the orphanage. I was able to spend time with some great new people from New York and some old friends. We built a house from Sunday-Wednesday. Through that time we were also able to raise over $4,000 to build another home in august. They raised the money through facebook actually. It was quite amazing to see what God can do.

I was able to go to the Mothers Day Party at the school with the kids from the orphanage on Tuesday. It was so cute. Each age group did a little skit, dance, or song. I loved it. One of the youngest girls called me Mama that day and I cried. I feel so unworthy of what is all going on. I’m glad that God knows what’s going on when I’m lost.

I have actually been kind of struggling the past couple days just with who I am. I know that Satan is trying so hard to make me upset and he was winning. I felt so helpless. I didn't know what God wanted me here for. I am still learning the language and struggling to communicate. How can I help these people? Also the teens are hard to read sometimes. They find a way to make me feel bad about something. I know that they are struggling too but its tough. But one night in my room after a tough day I read in my devotion that "God did NOT just love me when I was lovable but he loved me through it all" through all my nasty and dark and rude times. The Lord was patient with me. I think that, that is going to have to be my heart through my time with them. I mean honestly there is nothing else that I can do.

I have been able to see a lot of old friends, which has been so grand. Also I have been able to spend time with my friend Jesus. He came to the orphanage yesterday and was so happy. He has so much energy and I enjoyed our time together.

I am praying a lot through the soreness, blisters, bruises, sweat, and tears. I know our Lord is faithful and keeps His arms around me through this all. When I was at church on Sunday the Pastor read a passage in Luke 18:28-30 "peter said to him, "We have left all we had to follow you." "I tell you the truth," Jesus said to them "no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and in the age to come, eternal life." After reading that my heart had this since of... is this me? Did I leave my life behind to be with these people? Am I serving the Lord with all that I am? Or am I still comfortable?

I’m still thinking about all of it. I hope the next couple of days will be a blessing for the kingdom of God.

Tonight I went to the hospital with the directors for the surgery of one of the girls. She was getting her appendices out. I saw her before she went in and she seemed happy that I showed up. I kissed her and told her I loved her. We came back after she was out of surgery. She was screaming for a long time and saying over and over again “oh my stomach” they didn’t give her any painkillers. That girl is strong. I went in and held her hand, talked to her, and petted her head. We calmed her down and started to pray for her. Israel the director kept saying don’t worry Jesus is here with us. She was so miserable. I cried being with her and praying for her. Before I left I got close to her ear and whispered in Spanish “I love you, my girl.” I kissed her on the cheek and we had to leave.

After that time my heart was broke and I am realizing that loving these people with the love of Christ is enough. They don’t care if I speak perfect Spanish or understand their culture completely but just being here and doing all that I can and loving them is enough.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Summer 2010 :)

Hey everyone!

I rolled into Mexico on the 29th of April and life became super busy. The Lord has been constantly working on my heart. My mom came down for the first 5 days and loved it so much. She was realizing my heart even more.

We walked in and only a few of the kids were here because most were in school. It was a sweet time. I went to the preschool to pick up the two youngest boys and they showed off on the play ground for awhile. Then Pepino a six year old gorgeous little boy had me carry him back to the orphanage. He hugged and kissed on me the whole way back. It blessed my heart so much. The rest of the kids got home from school and were excited that I was back to live for the whole summer. Also they couldn't believe that my mom would come and meet them. they loved it! That night we went to a church up these stairs across the street from the orphanage. It is usually a long service and they had me sing and play guitar for awhile. When i was done singing the kids cuddled with me on the chairs and then got up to tell us what they wanted to thank God for. They said... my life.. my mom.. my dad.. Tenielle and her mom. I about cried as i heard that. Kid after kid said it and smiled big at us.

Through out the last 5 days lots has happened. On Friday Sergio came and took us around. Before we left a boy named Geovanny who is around 11 years old asked me if i was going to be here through out May. I said yes and he asked 'would you come to my school on mothers day to be my mom?' tears welled up in my eyes and i couldn't believe it. My heart was filled with compassion and he dug his head into my stomach after I said yes then kissed me on the cheek.

The kids have been super loving and constantly giving me hugs and kisses. I love this place so much and it feels so much like home. I went to the hospice yesterday and visited everyone. There was some new people and a lot had passed away. Which is always tough.

I also have gotten to see my friend Chuy or Jesus. He is doing better and we took him out to eat. He got super tired after spending the afternoon with us but he hugged me for a long time. We surprised him with our visit. He thought only Sergio was coming over then all of sudden my mom and I got out of the pickup. haha. He was smiling so bigged and hugged me with such passion. I hope and pray he will have his transplant soon. He needs it so bad.

Today we took my mom to the airport and then I spent the day with Aaron at the office in San Diego. It was a good day of learning more about the business side of the mission and just getting to know Aaron more. Good day. :)

I will be keeping up as much as i can with this. I am so excited that the Lord has brought me back to Tijuana to serve. I know He has big plans in store.

keep the SON in your eyes,