You know when your heart is torn and you don't know exactly what you are suppose to do? I am leaving in around two weeks to go home. I am excited to hug my family and friends but leaving the wonderful people I have fallen in love with is eating away at my heart. I don't know if it has hit me yet that I don't know if I will ever see some of these children again, especially the babies. I was just walking by the baby area and the toddlers starting yelling at me to come over. They began to show off and scream in their little baby talk. When I hold them I think of their stories... abandonment, orphaned, unwanted, and a lot with mentally ill mothers. The thought of, "their families have no idea what they are missing! The kids have such hilarious personalities and have become such a delight." I am so grateful for places like this orphanage that can give these children food, shelter, love, and care for as long as they can. Some of the babies can be adopted out and it brings such joy to think that they will be individual loved and cared for. We pray each night for their families and that the children will grow up knowing of our loving Savior.
The director and two german girls who I stay with were all gone for the past couple of days so I have been by myself in our house and just enjoying the time with the orphanage children. This morning I was the only white person in church and I was able to sing in the french choir and sing a special song with some of our kids from the orphanage. Church here is such a joyful experience. I believe that they see God for who He really is... our big creator that can do anything and will take care of everything! The christians here pray with such passion, sing at the top of their lungs and dance with sweet joy. I was telling some of the older boys in the orphanage last night that church at home is a totally different experience. They said, what do you mean church is only like an hour long? And you don't really dance in church? I was convicted because I don't find myself joyfully dancing for Jesus very often. What are we missing? I want this overflowing joy and unstoppable faith that can move mountains.
This past week has been really difficult on my heart, yet the Lord is so faithful and through little glimpses I can see His will taking root more in my life. I love Africa- the culture, people, and I can see such a need that I want to help with. One day, I feel maybe the Lord will call me here for a longer period of time. I know my life is completely in His hands!
I can see God working so much here in Burkina. Even though Islam is the main religion and you see people praying in the streets on their mats for their "rituals" trying to earn their way to what they think is paradise. I see such desperation and I do see that when people receive Christ here, their lives are completely changed. Its something I know even myself, need to learn. I love Jesus so much... but do I trust Him completely for every little thing? The poverty here is so evident but the people are just like.. this is our life. We don't have much... but do we really need much? In an average family here- they would live in a sod like house and they would sleep on woven plastic mats on a concrete or dirt floor. They wouldn't have furniture but maybe like a bench or chair and they wouldn't have many clothes.. but just enough to live.
I was asking some of the kids last night about if they saw a lot of white people when they were little in living in the village. They said, every once in awhile they would see one and they were so happy. They would scream "white person" and "candy." Also, they remember when they would see a car and how happy they were to see one of those! haha It made me smile to think of how simple life was in that. Playing in the dirt with rocks and running around chasing old bike tires.
The people I have been blessed enough to meet so far are just amazing. Thank you Lord Jesus for changing my life even more... I feel that I am becoming more of who You created me to be.