i am so blessed.

September 10, 2009-Thursday- Day 22

Today was an amazing day and it broke my heart all at once. I first got up and played with the kids then finished some stuff for there website. Then Israel looked at me and said lets go… I will drop you off at the Hospice Center and pick you up around 3 or 4. I said ok! I was super excited and nervous all at the same time… I wondered… does anyone speak English? Am I going to feel awkward being there alone? But as soon as I got there and he left I started to play my guitar and sing for the people on the back patio. Things seemed to be going good and they liked it. They kept saying more. Some of the guys spoke English and so they would ask me different things and said that they loved me being there. Two guys told me that they remembered me coming to meet them last summer.

After playing a lot of songs my fingers were tired and I was super hot. It was pretty hot outside and I wanted to know what was going on in their lives. One guy had Parkinson’s disease and he was wearing a helmet. His name was David and he seemed so happy. He was walking on his own for the first time in years and he would talk to me in a studer. I liked him a lot. I went inside after awhile and went through the rooms. One man named Max had had a hip replacement but his body wasn’t taking it well… he was so thin that I could see all his ribs. They said that he just wanted to die. There was another man in there that used to play the violin. He was really quiet but would smile at me. There was another guy who was on crutches that was showing me around later I found out that he had Aids and had lost a leg. He showed me two ladies in the next room. One had diabetes and had lost most of her limbs… the other lady has lung cancer.

After seeing them I walked up the stairs to talk to Alex who worked and lived at the Hospice. He was one of the main caretakers and he was actually Sergio’s adopted son. Alex told me that he had been in prison for 5 years in the states and that is why he could talk such good English. He showed me the different people… there were four men laying on hospital beds in the main area up stairs. One was awake so I talked to him for a while… he had the bluest eyes and could speak some English. I found out that he used to be big into drugs. He was so bad that he blew out his veins and his body was super swollen. I guess that sometimes he would miss the vein and just put the drugs right in to his skin. They can’t put medication in his veins because of his usage and so it is taking him a lot longer to heal.

Another man has really bad diabetes and lost one of his legs… the one-foot he does have is curled under so he can’t walk at all. He scoots around on his butt to move if someone can’t carry him. The guy next to him has epilepsy… he sleeps a lot but really enjoyed me singing to him. Then there was an older man there who I found out can’t go to the bathroom because of a surgery thing that they did so he has a tube that is through his belly button and goes to a bag. Alex told me that if he doesn’t get another surgery he would die in less than a year.

Then Alex handed me a mask and some gloves. We walked through this white curtain into a room with a young man lying there. They didn’t know his name and they think he was around 18 to 20 years old. The general hospital found him lying in the street and someone had hit him in the head with something… he bled internally so they had to do surgery to fix him. One eye was swollen shut and he was basically a vegetable now. A breathing tube was going through his throat and a feeding tube straight to his stomach. He lay there in only a diaper (which all the men who were laying in beds only had a diaper on). Then Alex said you see that gooey stuff that is coming out under his breathing tube? We think he has tuberculosis. I was in shock… I had never been around anyone with that before. I said isn’t that contegious and dangerous to be around? He said yes but the blood of Jesus will cover us and protect us. He said he is looking at you. With the one eye open he would look and follow people… that was his only way of communication.

Alex left me with him alone while he went and got some things. I reached down and rubbed my gloves across his arm… he stared at me with such desperation. Through my mask I sang him some songs and just held his hand. My heart broke… Alex came in and had me clean out his breathing tube. When he had enough strength he would cough and his whole frame would shake. I wiped the blood and spit off his lips, then cleaned his face with a wet wipe. It was so hot and they couldn’t use fans in there because it would just spread the germs.

I left the room and he asked if I would like to feed someone. I said of course. I walked down the stairs and they handed me the food. He told me to sit down and showed me what to do. There was a boy around 22 years old who was mentally not there and was blind. I was able to spoon-feed him, as he would sway back and forth. He would reach for my leg when he wanted more. As I was waiting for him to chew I started to hum and he got super excited. He squealed and started moving around his little couch thing he sat at. Alex told me that his hearing was great and he hardly ever slept. He will scream a lot especially at night. They all call him the beautiful little boy and love him a lot.

I sat down at the table and was thinking through what I had seen… Alex told me about almost ever patient there. He said he is not the blessing they are. Then a man came up to me and shook my hand very tight. He was saying stuff but I couldn’t understand. Alex said that he was mostly deaf and schizophrenic. He usually nevers talks to anyone… to afraid but he must like you. Alex got some paper and a pen so that I could talk to the man. He read very well. He used to be a chemical engineer but got hit by a car and slowly lost his mind. He found out about me playing guitar and got excited. So we went upstairs and I played for him and some guys. I would sing then he would sing. It was sweet. Israel came around 5 to get me and when I was walking out that man stopped and said bye girl. He waved and stood there with a big smile.

I left that place SOOO blessed! I can’t believe that God let me be a part of those people’s lives. Israel said that I could go back once or twice a week if I want! I am excited to see what God is going to do. J

September 11, 2009- Friday- Day 23

Today I slept in to around 9, which I never do but I decided to since I was super tired. I felt bad but no one seemed to mind. I checked my email and played with the kids. I was able to help take them to school again today and then I just had the afternoon to have some God time. It was a good time of reading and thinking.

I went with Evelyn to take little Israel to his parents at their other house. It is their day off, which they get one I believe maybe every two weeks. We got some tacos and then visited with them for a while. Evelyn and I talked about what God was doing in our lives and she was struggling a lot with some things. Her family lives a long ways away and there is something going on. God is really working on her heart. I showed her later some verses that God brought me to in my time with Him. As I was showing her tears started streaming down her face. It was exactly what she needed! I felt like it blessed me when I read them but for her it was complete joy. She said I need to call my husband and tell him. It was a sweet time… she kept thanking me over and over.

The kids were super hyper tonight so we had them do exercises and run around to wear of some of the energy. They bless me so much with their laughter and smiles. My friend Jose Bulmaro came back today from visiting his house. It was nice to catch up with him. When he was talking with others and the kids were in bed I felt called to read some more. I got out my bible and was reading about fear of the Lord. Just before Jose and I talked about how he was scared to visit the Hospice Center… just to see everything. I need to realize more everyday that God is so powerful and mighty… he deserves my thoughts and actions. He is the One to fear not things here… He is in control.

I group came tonight from California and I get to help them work on the new hospital tomorrow. They seem really nice and I am excited to get to know them. I told them that I was just at the Hospice Center yesterday and it always touches my heart… I said those are the people we are making this hospital for. I can’t wait to see what God is going to do tomorrow… my prayer is that He will change me to be more like Him and less of me.

another great day.

September 9, 2009-Wednesday- Day 21

I woke up today believing that I was going to be able to sing to the people at the Hospice Center but it didn’t happen. I took pictures of the kids for the website and I had some very good God time. I was praying about lots of things and God showed me scripture that eased what I was struggling through in my heart. God is so good and all the time.

I was laying in my bed reading a book when I decided to listen to my iPod and just rest. As I picked up my iPod I noticed that it had a layer of dirt on it. I had used it just the night before… and looking around everything in my room was covered in dirt. My guitar case majorly was, my clothes, blankets, pillows, clock, bags, shoes, and everything! It was crazy… I thought man I will really be taking Mexico home with me… this stuff will take awhile to get clean. Then I thought wow this covering of dirt is like what God’s love is for me. It covers me from head to toe… every inch. So every time I look around and see that layer of dirt I think of how much God loves me.

Later I was able to go with Roberto and pick the kids up from school… some of them had to come back right away because there was no classes. That happens ALL the time. The teacher just doesn’t come… maybe sick or something else comes up so they don’t get their education at all. But the staff said hey its Mexico things are different. Tonight I spent a lot of time with Israel, his wife, and Evelyn. It was good hearing the side of the adults at the orphanage and their struggles. They are a lot of fun.

I walked in to their home after playing with the kids and saw little Israel drawing some stuff. I told him that it looked really good and he smiled. I asked him for a hug and he said that he was to sick and didn’t want me to get sick. Then he fake coughed. Haha he is such an interesting character. Later he did give me a hug and talked to me about airplanes. I love the way he talks… so serious.

6 days of blogs!

September 3, 2009-Thursday- Day 15

Today I woke up around 8 and hung out with the kids all morning. Later I was able to go with Israel’s wife and a friend shopping. It was good just spending time with them and everything. We got some different things and then I was back at the orphanage. Sergio talked to me about different things that he wants me to help out with. He said I would love for you to be a speaker for Baja Visions.

I was telling him that it would be great for there ministries to have supporters that will be praying for them and be faithful in helping them with funs. I said that you have so many people that have come down and lots of churches that have seen what it is going on that I can’t believe that they are not having these ministries as something they support monthly. That is when I realized why I believe one reason God brought me to Tijuana. I think that I am suppose to help them set up different support areas and get the word out there that they are in need, to just be a voice for Jesus for these wonderful people. There are a lot of needs but I know that God will fulfill them in His timing.

September 4, 2009- Friday- Day 16

I was not feeling all that well today and it was super tough for me to get out of bed. I don’t know what it was but I was constantly tired. Sergio had me go with him to drop one of the workers off at home. He told me on the way back that his wife is really not doing vey good. She is very sick and has a brain tumor. They don’t have the money for treatment stuff so they are hoping that they can figure this all out.

I took a long nap and felt somewhat better when I woke up. Later I was invited to get tacos with little Israel and Evelyn (a lady who is helping at the orphanage). They were great and I love the way that little 3-year-old Israel talks. He is a very crazy child who is trying to cause trouble and make people laugh. He is honestly one of the cutest kids I have ever seen. He kept yelling at me what is your name in Spanish. I would tell him and then he would repeat it and forget it and we would do it all over again. Later we went to take his parents some tacos and we stopped to buy some pop for them. Evelyn went in to buy the pop and we waited in the car. He kept on trying to honk the horn and I wouldn’t let him. He got mad and when Evelyn got back she handed me the pop then he told her that I drank all of it. He is so ridiculous but I do love his spirit.

We drove to Israel’s house that he is fixing up. Him and his family will go there for a day off or just get away for a little bit. A friend is living there right now. It is looking great. It is a trailer and they are fixing it up with new tile and different stuff. We left there dropping little Israel off and then I was able to dance with the girls at the orphanage. They make up moves to different songs and I was following along. They are super cute and were excited that I was joining them.

I was feeling kind of different today and somewhat homesick… I keep thinking that I am not doing enough for these people. So I got out my devotional and read what it was about. It was exactly what I needed. It talked about that if I want to be a missionary or just servant for Christ I need to be completely His. I have been reading through God’s smuggler and it has helped me tremendously. God really put that book in my life at this time for a reason.

September 5, 2009- Saturday- day 17

I played volleyball with a couple of the kids today and hung out around the orphanage. There is this family of 5 boys that live here and it is the youngest birthday in a couple of days so their mom came to visit them and throw him a party. It is interesting to me that she will buy him a cake, a couple gifts, and some piñatas but isn’t there really for their lives. She was bad into drugs and different things… I’m not sure the whole story but the boys were excited to see their mom.

Her bringing piñatas was the highlight of the day for most of the kids. It was a good time I believe for them and they shared the cake with everyone. Israel told me that those 5 boys would always live here until they are old enough to move out. Their mom will never be able to have them back. She is just not stable enough.

September 6, 2009- Sunday- Day 18

I went to a small baptized church this morning with the kids. And when I say small I mean like there was probably 15 other people in the congregation besides the group I was with. I didn’t understand hardly any of the messages but a couple of words here and there. Since the church was so small it was more like a small group setting and the Pastor called out on people for answers or reading scripture. He called out on me and I was like I don’t understand what you are even saying. He laughed and asked me my name. He couldn’t say it but he did try. They sang hymns with no instruments because I think no one there new how to play the worn out piano in the corner. The one thing that I noticed is that there were ants all over the tile floor. Tons, I don’t think that I have ever seen that many ants inside a building before but hey it’s Mexico. When the two-hour service was over everyone came up and shook my hand. It was an interesting time… I think I am going to go to the other church though next Sunday.

Tonight I was able to go to a Christian concert with a couple of the older girls and Israel’s wife. The main guy had a very wonderful voice but again basically the whole time I didn’t understand what was going on. I didn’t know any of the songs or when he would talk I understood like maybe 5 to 10 words after awhile. I just tried to take it all in and realize that I was able to experience something that they loved. Man I would really love to know Spanish better but to understand what was all going on there I would have to live here for years!

September 7, 2009- Monday- Day 19

This morning the kids woke me up at 6:30… I wasn’t very happy because I really wanted to sleep. But its ok it happens. I had an amazing God time and I feel like Christ is pushing me a lot!

There is a couple that lives at the orphanage name Roberto and Edith. They are pretty amazing people and I have loved getting to know them throughout my time here. Today their son, Alan, came and so I was able to talk with him. He is 22 and isn’t saved which is really tough on his parents. I talked with him a lot cause he knew English really well. Him and I talked about Jesus and what he struggles with. It was good and I hope someday he will believe. He said that he doesn’t understand that if there is a God why there is so much suffering and he also said that he had been hurt a lot so he never wants to love again. It was an interesting time of explaining why I believe what I believe and just hearing his story.

Later I was able to go around with Israel in the new van that someone had given to them. Well it’s not new but it’s new to us! We drove to look at different programs for his computer and just get some other things. I love talking with him because you can clearly see Jesus in him whenever you are in his presence. I was sharing with him some songs that had blessed me the night before as I was listening to my iPod. I was listening to the song Filled with Your Glory and I was so blessed that I turned on my light and danced around my room in worship. Haha sounds stupid to the world and I probably looked crazy but I felt so free!

We got back to the orphanage and I talked to my friend David who is 16 years old. He loves Christian music and so I was sharing with him some of my collection. I love his smile and his spirit… he is super crazy but caring underneath it all. I told him that if he gets me some blank CDs that I would give him some of my music. He was super pumped and we sat together for a long time going through everything I had.

Later Alan wanted to talk to me again and his friend was with him. They wanted to practice there English so that they could talk to people from America when they came to there work. Also they helped me a little with Spanish. Today was a good day and I feel like i'm learning a lot.

September 8, 2009- Tuesday- Day 20

I can’t believe it has been 20 days that I have been here. As I was driving with Israel he asked me how it has been for me. I told him that God has truly been working on my heart and trying to make me completely His. Also that I see Jesus in all the faces of the people and kids I work with.

Today I took a long nap and tried to not think about my stomach pain. For some reason I have been really sick with it and it is hurting me a lot. I have been praying that God would heal me so I don’t have to worry about it. I didn’t do all that much today besides some laundry and playing with the kids. I am trying to get pictures and things stet up for the City of Angels website. They need new pictures and want my help. I also have been just talking to different people that work here and I love them so much. I really like getting to know their stories and everything.

Israel is afraid that I am getting bored so he said he would take me to the Hospice Center tomorrow! Which I am really excited about! I haven’t been bored or anything… in my time alone I have been thinking and reading a lot. It has been good for me. I hope that tomorrow will be a great day filled with the glory of God!

SO i have been kind of lazy, busy, and really tired.. i will get new stuff up soon!

sorry!

love, tenielle

day 14 with these wonderful people

September 2, 2009-Wednesday- Day 14

The group was suppose to come but they canceled the whole trip and now the family doesn’t get a house for a while… I guess the next group is coming in December. It makes me sad to think that the family was looking forward to a home and its not going to happen. We are doing different things to the orphanage and making it better. Sergio is always improving everything and working really hard.

I left with Israel’s wife Marlena (sp?) and the two youngest boys to find them some shoes. We went to this street market and I held Pepino or Eduardo in my arms. I really love him… he is five years old and super silly. We got back and then I left with Israel and his 16-year-old son Alberto. We ran around getting some shoes and uniforms for school. He also bought me the most amazing ice cream I have ever had. It was a soft peach with sunflower seeds, raisins, strawberries, almonds, and caramel for topping. It was pretty grand. I love driving around with him because we listen to Christian music and he sings with all that he is. So the driving here is pretty ridiculous and I can’t believe that I haven’t died yet. Haha

We got back and I did some different things, hung out with some people, and then took a nap. I got sick last night and today… my hope is that I will be healed soon and that it doesn’t affect me as I work. I then just played with the kids and watched the men work on the new addition. I love joking with the people… I am learning more and more Spanish so it is becoming easier. J

Another hot but great day!

September 1, 2009- Tuesday- Day 13

It is day 13 for me in Mexico and I have loved it a lot. I woke up early because a group from America was suppose to be here to build a house BUT we got the days mixed and they come tonight and we work tomorrow. Israel and I visited with the family again and made sure the supplies were going to be at the site then we headed over to Sergio’s. I met his wife who has been sick and just visited for a while.

We left there to go get some breakfast and it was great! I had a Spanish omelet and this water with melon in it. I very much enjoyed the whole thing. We made it back to the orphanage and Sergio came by to get some stuff ready because we are building on at the orphanage. I left with him for a while to get supplies for that then took a nap.

I just relaxed tonight and the younger kids had bible study so it was not very busy. The two littlest ones got into the powdered concrete and covered themselves in it so that was fun. I guess a hurricane is coming my way and we could get some of it. Israel and I are looking at it everyday but he said he thinks that we will get some wind and rain. I’m not to worried about it… God knows what’s going on.

I noticed recently that when I hug these kids its like I get a glimpse of what Heaven will be like… with there smiles, laughter, and everything I feel like this is how Jesus wants me to see Him. I see Him in the suffering of everything to but when I do get to hold these kids’ hands or hug them and kiss their cheeks I realize this is exactly why I am here. No matter how hot it is or when my stomach hurts or that I have no privacy really… its all worth it!

day 12

August 31, 2009- Monday- day 12

It was hot again today but cooled off nicely this evening! I played with the kids and just chilled for quite awhile. I am trying to find out more about the pasts of different people and it is interesting. The government came today and gave some school supplies to the kids. I thought that was pretty cool. After awhile I helped Israel and his wife get some things organized then Israel asked if I would go with him somewhere. He showed me the site where we will be building a new house tomorrow. The family seemed nice but the foundation was pretty bad. The view where they live is amazing… you can see a great deal of Tijuana. J

I love talking with Israel cause he is always so real with me. He tells me about his bad times and what he thinks about things. He told me today that I will make a great mom one day… he can see it by the way I treat the kids and love with all my heart. He also told me he loved my singing and he was glad I was here. It was his birthday and he promised one of the boys who is 15 that they would go out for dinner. They invited me it was a great buffet. Before we went back to get the orphanage Israel showed me his house that he is fixing up and we also gave strangers rides. It was pretty interesting that he will just pick up people but he says I just trust God and it is a good way to witness. I said in America it is not a good thing and he said in Tijuana not good either but some people just need help.

I got back from supper and hung out with a couple of the older boys and some adults. We watched pro wrestling and I was laughing so much. That stuff is ridiculous but they love it here. I am really excited for tomorrow and I can’t wait to meet the group!