i am so blessed.

September 10, 2009-Thursday- Day 22

Today was an amazing day and it broke my heart all at once. I first got up and played with the kids then finished some stuff for there website. Then Israel looked at me and said lets go… I will drop you off at the Hospice Center and pick you up around 3 or 4. I said ok! I was super excited and nervous all at the same time… I wondered… does anyone speak English? Am I going to feel awkward being there alone? But as soon as I got there and he left I started to play my guitar and sing for the people on the back patio. Things seemed to be going good and they liked it. They kept saying more. Some of the guys spoke English and so they would ask me different things and said that they loved me being there. Two guys told me that they remembered me coming to meet them last summer.

After playing a lot of songs my fingers were tired and I was super hot. It was pretty hot outside and I wanted to know what was going on in their lives. One guy had Parkinson’s disease and he was wearing a helmet. His name was David and he seemed so happy. He was walking on his own for the first time in years and he would talk to me in a studer. I liked him a lot. I went inside after awhile and went through the rooms. One man named Max had had a hip replacement but his body wasn’t taking it well… he was so thin that I could see all his ribs. They said that he just wanted to die. There was another man in there that used to play the violin. He was really quiet but would smile at me. There was another guy who was on crutches that was showing me around later I found out that he had Aids and had lost a leg. He showed me two ladies in the next room. One had diabetes and had lost most of her limbs… the other lady has lung cancer.

After seeing them I walked up the stairs to talk to Alex who worked and lived at the Hospice. He was one of the main caretakers and he was actually Sergio’s adopted son. Alex told me that he had been in prison for 5 years in the states and that is why he could talk such good English. He showed me the different people… there were four men laying on hospital beds in the main area up stairs. One was awake so I talked to him for a while… he had the bluest eyes and could speak some English. I found out that he used to be big into drugs. He was so bad that he blew out his veins and his body was super swollen. I guess that sometimes he would miss the vein and just put the drugs right in to his skin. They can’t put medication in his veins because of his usage and so it is taking him a lot longer to heal.

Another man has really bad diabetes and lost one of his legs… the one-foot he does have is curled under so he can’t walk at all. He scoots around on his butt to move if someone can’t carry him. The guy next to him has epilepsy… he sleeps a lot but really enjoyed me singing to him. Then there was an older man there who I found out can’t go to the bathroom because of a surgery thing that they did so he has a tube that is through his belly button and goes to a bag. Alex told me that if he doesn’t get another surgery he would die in less than a year.

Then Alex handed me a mask and some gloves. We walked through this white curtain into a room with a young man lying there. They didn’t know his name and they think he was around 18 to 20 years old. The general hospital found him lying in the street and someone had hit him in the head with something… he bled internally so they had to do surgery to fix him. One eye was swollen shut and he was basically a vegetable now. A breathing tube was going through his throat and a feeding tube straight to his stomach. He lay there in only a diaper (which all the men who were laying in beds only had a diaper on). Then Alex said you see that gooey stuff that is coming out under his breathing tube? We think he has tuberculosis. I was in shock… I had never been around anyone with that before. I said isn’t that contegious and dangerous to be around? He said yes but the blood of Jesus will cover us and protect us. He said he is looking at you. With the one eye open he would look and follow people… that was his only way of communication.

Alex left me with him alone while he went and got some things. I reached down and rubbed my gloves across his arm… he stared at me with such desperation. Through my mask I sang him some songs and just held his hand. My heart broke… Alex came in and had me clean out his breathing tube. When he had enough strength he would cough and his whole frame would shake. I wiped the blood and spit off his lips, then cleaned his face with a wet wipe. It was so hot and they couldn’t use fans in there because it would just spread the germs.

I left the room and he asked if I would like to feed someone. I said of course. I walked down the stairs and they handed me the food. He told me to sit down and showed me what to do. There was a boy around 22 years old who was mentally not there and was blind. I was able to spoon-feed him, as he would sway back and forth. He would reach for my leg when he wanted more. As I was waiting for him to chew I started to hum and he got super excited. He squealed and started moving around his little couch thing he sat at. Alex told me that his hearing was great and he hardly ever slept. He will scream a lot especially at night. They all call him the beautiful little boy and love him a lot.

I sat down at the table and was thinking through what I had seen… Alex told me about almost ever patient there. He said he is not the blessing they are. Then a man came up to me and shook my hand very tight. He was saying stuff but I couldn’t understand. Alex said that he was mostly deaf and schizophrenic. He usually nevers talks to anyone… to afraid but he must like you. Alex got some paper and a pen so that I could talk to the man. He read very well. He used to be a chemical engineer but got hit by a car and slowly lost his mind. He found out about me playing guitar and got excited. So we went upstairs and I played for him and some guys. I would sing then he would sing. It was sweet. Israel came around 5 to get me and when I was walking out that man stopped and said bye girl. He waved and stood there with a big smile.

I left that place SOOO blessed! I can’t believe that God let me be a part of those people’s lives. Israel said that I could go back once or twice a week if I want! I am excited to see what God is going to do. J

September 11, 2009- Friday- Day 23

Today I slept in to around 9, which I never do but I decided to since I was super tired. I felt bad but no one seemed to mind. I checked my email and played with the kids. I was able to help take them to school again today and then I just had the afternoon to have some God time. It was a good time of reading and thinking.

I went with Evelyn to take little Israel to his parents at their other house. It is their day off, which they get one I believe maybe every two weeks. We got some tacos and then visited with them for a while. Evelyn and I talked about what God was doing in our lives and she was struggling a lot with some things. Her family lives a long ways away and there is something going on. God is really working on her heart. I showed her later some verses that God brought me to in my time with Him. As I was showing her tears started streaming down her face. It was exactly what she needed! I felt like it blessed me when I read them but for her it was complete joy. She said I need to call my husband and tell him. It was a sweet time… she kept thanking me over and over.

The kids were super hyper tonight so we had them do exercises and run around to wear of some of the energy. They bless me so much with their laughter and smiles. My friend Jose Bulmaro came back today from visiting his house. It was nice to catch up with him. When he was talking with others and the kids were in bed I felt called to read some more. I got out my bible and was reading about fear of the Lord. Just before Jose and I talked about how he was scared to visit the Hospice Center… just to see everything. I need to realize more everyday that God is so powerful and mighty… he deserves my thoughts and actions. He is the One to fear not things here… He is in control.

I group came tonight from California and I get to help them work on the new hospital tomorrow. They seem really nice and I am excited to get to know them. I told them that I was just at the Hospice Center yesterday and it always touches my heart… I said those are the people we are making this hospital for. I can’t wait to see what God is going to do tomorrow… my prayer is that He will change me to be more like Him and less of me.