healing my heart...

On Sunday I went with Sergio to the orphanage to pick up 3 of the boys to come to church with us. I walked into the orphanage with a big smile on my face. I hadn’t been there in a couple of days and I had missed my kids like crazy. The kids saw me and ran to me and hugged me super tight. So I went around and hugged each of the kids. They asked, “when are you coming back to live with us?” I told them, “Tonight, I am coming home!” They smiled so big! They kept asking how long I would be staying and I told them until I go home to Nebraska. I said, “I won’t leave you again.” It hurt them worse than I thought it would to have me stay at Sergio’s for over a week. Most of them thought that I was not going to live with them again.

We left for church and it was amazing. I sang on the worship team and sang a special song. For the first time I sang every song in Spanish! The Holy Spirit was definitely with us and God was singing through me because I got the words right. Haha. But I was blessed a lot by that time. They asked me to join their worship team full time. And the worship leader told me that his sister has a recording studio and he got me in for two songs. I thought that was pretty cool to be able to record in Tijuana. I spent the rest of my Sunday counting down the minutes until I was back in the orphanage. I couldn’t wait to be holding my kids all the time.

I came back in and was super excited. I spent a lot of time that night with the teenage girls, just catching up and being silly. I told them how much they mean to me and how much I missed them. Seriously to not living at City of Angels was like a piece missing in my heart everyday. But the time I spent away was such a time of trusting God to heal me and refresh my spirit. I was so down a week or so ago that I was wondering if I should be in Tijuana anymore. It was horrible.

On Monday the kids hugged me so much. It was one of my favorite days in my whole life. One little boy named Armando kept hugging me over and over again. Our cook, Teresa, asked him, “Who is Tenielle to you? Your friend, sister, or mommy?” He said, “My mommy! Right Tenielle, you are my mommy?” I said, “Yes, of course.” He squeezed me tight and told all the kids “Tenielle is my mommy!” Others started to ask if I was their mom too and I told them that they were all my kids. My boy Chuma asked me, “Am I your son? You are my mommy too, right?” I smiled and kissed him. And told him he is mine forever.

One of our little 3 year olds is named Josue and he is super sweet. He is always wanting held and cuddled. It makes my day when he screams my name and wants a hug. He calls me, “Te ne!” haha.

Later that night I was in the living room and saw my wonderful 6-year-old Arnold. I honestly adore this little boy. He has the greatest personality and smile. He asked me to help him get his shoes on and tie them. So I did. Afterward he hugged me super tight and said, “Did you miss me?” I said, “Yes! SO much!” He smiled and said, “I missed you a lot, Tenielle.” Then I told him that I loved him and he said me too. I told him, “Every night I would pray for him and hold my heart and say Oh Arnold, I miss you!” He said, “Every night I would hold my heart and say, Oh Tenielle, I miss you!”

I feel like the Lord was showing me more and more each day that I am walking in His will. Even through tough time I see His hand guiding me and showing me exactly where I should be. It’s amazing how much protection He has on us here. He is such a great God and I can’t thank Him enough for these people. I believe that all the problems in my heart will be healed and any relationships here that have been hurt will be brought back together and mended, in time.