Following a dream while completely in His hands.

I am sitting in Omaha, Nebraska's airport thinking wow.. is this really happening? Could my dream of Africa really becoming true? It is surreal but also I am in complete awe of our great Father who had a plan all along. For around 6 years I have talked and prayed about going to Africa. I have watched movies, read books and articles, prayed for the people, looked at pictures, and longed to see/be in this place. I have even applied through different missions/organizations and it just never worked out. I don't really have expectations but I am just along for the ride. I know the Lord has chosen me. And everyday I praise Him for that.

People keep asking- what all will I be doing, aren't you scared, and what do you think its going to be like? My mind seriously has not wrapped around the fact that by this time tomorrow I will be on a totally different continent, in a culture I have never seen, with people I have never met.. and the only one who is literally with me in this travel is the Lord. I don't have fear but complete peace. I don't know exactly what I will be doing... but do really any of us? I mean I have a little bit of an idea.. But I am just excited that the chance has finally came up in my life. I want to take in every minute of it. I don't want to worry about political uprising or the "dangers" that everyone keeps reminding me of... our God is way bigger than any problem that is going on in this world. AND I am completely in His hands.

“Here is my servant whom I have chosen, 

the one I love, in whom I delight; 

I will put my Spirit on him,    

and he will proclaim justice to the nations.

                               -Matthew 12:18

Surprise Tijuana!

On this last Monday I left at 4:45am Nebraska time to head out on a shuttle to the Denver Airport. 12 hours later I was finally in Tijuana! I wanted to surprise almost everyone that I could in Mexico, so Aaron (our office guy) picked me up at the airport and called Sergio to say, hey im going to stop by cause I have something for you. As we pulled up to his house I was very anxious and excited. He was very surprised but said, i had a feeling you couldn't stay away for very long :) I spent sometime with him and then he took me to the orphanage. I was REALLY excited to get there. It was like I was counting down the blocks until we pulled into the parking area. I snuck in and saw that all the kids were in the dining room eating. One of them saw me and starting screaming my name. They were just about to pray for their meal and a few ran up to me to hug me. I told them all to sit down and we prayed. As they were praying, Ana, a 10 year old girl grabbed on to me and held on tight. They all couldn't believe that I was there. They kept saying... TENIELLE!!! HOW?!?! I went around to every kid at each of the tables and hugged and kissed them all. It was a sweet time. Then I hugged all the workers. It was such a great time. One boy said, i just can't believe you are here... I really didn't think I was going to see you for a long time. :)

It was an exciting rest of the day getting jumped on and lots of hugs. They had to show me everything new and tell me ALL about their lives. It was amazing. The next day I spent with the kids and helped them just with their everyday lives. My favorite parts of the days.. are waking up and seeing all their faces, them coming home from school and sharing about what they learned, and saying goodnight. All the hugs! :)

The Josues (4) starting preschool 

One of the days I was helping cook and in the kitchen there is the main telephone. One of the 4 year olds, Armando, came up and said, Tenielle we talked on that phone! I remember and I liked it :) I was so surprised how much they remember. All the kids were asking me about Africa and when I was going and exactly what it is like. I told them what i know and that I would show them everything when i get back and bring them gifts. I loved spending time with the older girls as well. It seems that I get to become even closer with every time I come. 

I talked to my sweet Jeovany who is going to be 13 this coming week. I said I was sorry I wasn't going to be in the orphanage for his birthday. He said, he wishes I was here but he understands. I told him how he is a son for me and how proud I truly am of who he is! He is incredible special to me. We have 7 new kids at the orphanage. And they are super cute and I got to know them a little bit in the days I was there. I think they felt they knew me right away b/c all the rest of the kids were freaking out. haha.

Christian (10) and I

The time went so fast and it seemed like I just got there and then my last day came. I was able to have a meeting with the staff of Baja Vision Ministries, which is Sergio (main founder), Israel (director of the orphanage), and Aaron (office administrator). They invited me to come on staff with them as a mission trip coordinator and lots of other stuff. They said it would be completely different than what I was doing before and I would be living at Sergio's house and have my own room. But I can visit the orphanage as much as I want. It would be a full time position and that I need to commit for at least a year. It is an amazing opportunity and I feel so honored. They told me to take a couple of weeks to think and pray about everything. If I do take the job they would want me in January to move down full time. I would have to raise my own support which I am not to worried about b/c if its of God, He will provide. :) I will also have to buy a new car that is higher off the ground, like a jeep or something- so please pray about that for me!

After the meeting I headed to see my friend Jesus, he had just gotten out of the hospital. When I walked into his house he was sitting in a chair and waiting for me. I went up and kissed him on the cheek. I sat down and we talked about some stuff. I brought him a framed picture of him and I. He said he liked it a lot and it was wrapped in bubble wrap so he had fun popping that haha. The doctors told him that a transplant will never be possible cause his body is so bad. He wouldn't make it through the surgery and lots of other things. He said he was angry at God. I didn't know really what to say except that I love him and that I am here for whatever he needs. We talked for awhile longer and then he was getting tired so I decided to go. He told me how much he loved me and he hugged me. He hugged me so tight like he was never going to see me on this earth again. He said, I will see you in january if I am still alive. I left crying and feeling helpless. I am crying selfishly b/c I want to keep him but honestly I just don't want him to suffer anymore.

Daniel (10) and the dogs.

Thank you all for all your prayers and support. The Lord completely raised my support for Africa! I am so excited :) I leave friday but will get there saturday. I know that this time will be a growing time in Him and a time to really realize exactly what He wants. I am so thankful that I was able to go to Tijuana this last week even if it was just for a couple of days. What a blessing it was to hug them all. They are all growing so fast! My prayer is that God is glorified completely through my life. 

To give it all..

What would it mean to give it all? To completely surrender your life, possessions, the people in your life, and everything to God.. Well its not going to happen over night but I believe its a life-long process and something we have to do everyday. Like waking up in the morning and saying, Lord this is Your day and You have control. Lately people have been asking me what my next step after Africa is... like will I move to Tijuana for a long period of time or what?

I have been thinking through Tijuana a lot lately.. I love it and I adore the people with all of my heart. It has become a home to me and it almost always is on my mind. And me going there for a long period time doesn't mean that I have to live there for the rest of my life hahaha. But my heart is also in other countries... oh how I long to do more! its so difficult sometimes.. I see so much need around the world and I want to travel there to help.. i want to be in their cultures, meet the people, love on them and hug them. I want to be in their lives. I want to truly make a difference.. and me staying in one place for awhile-- can mean that I can build relationships and truly make a difference in their lives. I know that the Lord will reveal in time, His will for my life.

I continue to praise God everyday that He opened my eyes to the real world and that He gave me a heart of compassion and love. Pray for those things in your life... God didn't just call some to have a Global heart BUT all of us... because God didn't just love a few but all. I head out to my mission soon and I am preparing everything. Its tough being home for this time.. I miss being on the field but I have seen that my love for Jesus has grown even more. He amazes me everyday. This joy has been growing in my heart that I feel so deeply in His will. :)

My heart aches for the world.

This weekend was such a blessing to have International Students who go to University of Nebraska Lincoln come out to the church and two girls stayed in our homes. I loved it all so much. My heart was so blessed and it made me have so much of a heart for Asia. :) Two kids accepted Christ!

Lately human-trafficking has been on my heart and I want so badly to go and save girls out of brothels. I want them to know that they have worth and they are loved. I want to them to know the love of Christ and have a relationship with Him.

My heart cries out to do more! I know that I am serving in Tijuana and that I am headed to Africa but what MORE can I do!?!?! I am crying out to God. He is just breaking my heart constantly. This morning at church a group of teens and some adults went to Haiti and did VBS through the same mission I will be going to Africa with. Tears streamed down my face as I looked at those beautiful children in Haiti and how I long to hold the kids in Africa.

I have a feeling one day the Lord will send me to Haiti and all over. I want so badly to be helping kids and women in human trafficking. ONE DAY! Patience is important! But we need to wake up to the world around us. We need to realize that the world is bigger than just our house, our family, our town, our state, and our country. People are starving, suffering, enslaved, rapped constantly, and longing to hear the word of God. AND they need US to love them.

I heard my Pastor say this morning that Americans gave like $145 million dollars to missions last year BUT spent $304 million dollars in chewing gum. Where is your heart? What do you care about? When will we wake up and step out of our comfort to be who God has called us to be. :)

When will we wake up?

I have been thinking a lot lately about my walk with the Lord and how it should truly be looking like. And what I mean by "looking like" I mean.. how do I look like to the eyes of Jesus and to the gospel that HE presented? In the eyes of some of the people around me I think they have this view of me that is so funny at times. I have become this "missionary girl" or that is my "missionary friend"... Its like I have been put on this weird step up... And let me tell you all now that I am a sinner and so ridiculous. I am selfish and I struggle. I gave up my life a long time ago to the Lord and every day He is working on my heart. On the mission field I have been put to the test... satan has his way of attacking in every way he can. But I always run to the Lord and ask for his protection because I realized a long time ago that I need help, I can't do this alone.

Today I was talking with different Pastors in McCook about speaking at their churches about my love for the Lord and the work that He is doing in Tijuana. One of them told me that he talked to the elders and didn't think that they had time this summer to have me come speak. Then he asked me to tell him about what I do. I said, I live/work at an orphanage, help at a hospice, help at an Old Folks Home, build homes for poor families, and other things. He said, yeah... but how are you speaking the gospel? I want to know what you do and the mission you work with do, to give people the gospel?

I was struck by that... I wanted to say, didn't I just tell you that? Serving. Loving. Having Compassion. Building Relationships. Giving. Isn't that showing the gospel? Doesn't God call us in 1 John 3:18- "Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth."

Someone else asked me that similar question before too-- I said, well we have Bible Studies almost every night at the orphanage. We pray with the kids. They have VBS and lots of other the things. I don't tell about that all the time because I feel like it is natural that we tell them about Jesus. When we build a home for the family, we share with them how much God loves them and one of my favorite things Israel, the director of house building and the orphanage, says, "we are building two homes today. One for your physical body and one for your heart. We are letting you know that the hole in your heart, the longing that you feel.. can only be filled by Jesus."

Sometimes I think that I should tell the stories more-- but sometimes I feel like a failure because I haven't "prayed" with someone to come to Christ on this trip, this time or whatever. But then I realize that we are building a house in a persons life. We are laying the cement or nailing up the walls or putting on the roof... one day we pray that it will all fit together and be finished. But, maybe I was just suppose to be the person who did a piece in the beginning or middle.. and that i don't get to see the end. the new creation. the fruit.

I believe that God calls us to meet people where they are-- be there for them. Through it all. I love the kids at the orphanage with everything that I am and I long for them to know Christ BUT i can't force them to know Jesus. They are the ones that have to make that choice. I can stick beside them, pray for them, and love them along the way. Its living the gospel OUT. Being an example. I once heard a missionary say, "How can you tell a woman, with her starving child in her arms, that Jesus loves her but not feed her baby?" That has stuck with me ever since. Helping meet someones physical needs opens a bigger door to helping them meet their spiritual needs as well. Building relationships and trust-- are HUGE.

We need to challenge ourselves to truly live out the gospel with our lives... If we love people like Jesus does than they will know the difference. I talk about God normally to everyone, no matter if they are a Christian or not. There is no harm in talking about someone you love with all your heart. I have noticed that when you don't push but just be real-- people will respect you for it.

I need to wake up more and more to the person God wants me to be. I need to challenge myself and hunger for His word. Who are you with Christ? Do you just know Him as the one you said a prayer to once so you got your ticket to heaven? Or do you really know Him as the awesome and holy Savior that He says He is?

** the pictures I put up along with this are pictures

that I love that I found with African Children. Also I edited this one with words and stuff-- it reminds me how blessed we are and how I need to pray.

Pictures of my babies in Mexico!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBZIWcyJFi0

Here is a video of pictures of the kids at City of Angels. This shows my time that I spent in Tijuana on my last mission.

Hugs, Gum, Peanut Butter, and Lots of Love

‎"If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all."

-Isaiah 7:9

The Lord is great and constantly amazing me with His great power. I was so blessed by my last couple weeks at City of Angels. Some of my favorite moments were the kids sharing that they would pray for me on my trip to Africa. It was so humbling to have them hug me goodbye and to hear them say I love you. The morning I left I went into their rooms and hugged each of them goodbye at like 6am. The best moment was hugging my beautiful Jeovany... he woke up and raised his arms up. He squeezed me really tight then fell back asleep haha. I was stuck for a little bit. :)

I thank the Lord everyday for bringing the people of Tijuana into my life. I know that

they are my family and I can't wait to hug them again in January- God willing. My next moment is off to Africa, I hope! I still need to raise more funds but I am a strong believer that if the Lord wants me there I will be. I have dreamed for years for the moment of being in Africa. Holding the children... living with the people... being in their culture.. I long for it. I love the people even before meeting them.

I was convicted lately that I need to become nonmaterialistic and really go through my things to give away or sell so the money can go towards my missions. I also had some time reading and I am constantly reminded that God CHOSE us. He chose me to be in Tijuana... He has a

purpose and even though I don't deserve it.. He uses me.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support. The Lord is definitely working in Tijuana and I constantly pray for the lives of those children. I would do anything for them to truly know the love of God and to have a real personal relationship with Him.

Another cute story- One day i was sitting on the couch in the orphanage when 7 year old Arnold comes up to me and yells, Tenielle! I have been hit! I looked at him in shock...

then he screamed, WITH GUM! I began to laugh... I was like okay how did that happen? he said, i don't know maybe someone put it there, or when I was rolling on the ground, or it was on the wall.. haha I couldn't stop laughing. I said, well lets get some peanut butter.. he said, Im not hungry. haha I said no its for your hair. I tried but then we just got peanut butter all over so then someone cut it out. It was dramatic and hilarious.

I miss those moments and the hugs so much.