For the JOY of the Lord is my strength!

November 14, 2010

In the past week or so I have had some struggles but the Lord has been faithful like He always is. Today I was at church and I was able to sing a song called “Here with us.” It is about how Jesus was here with us on earth to save us. It is such a beautiful song. When I stepped up on stage I looked out in the crowd and I saw this face that completely shocked me. One of my orphanage kids was there with his mom.

But the thing is, is that this young boy is one that never gets to see his mommy and hardly ever leaves the orphanage. Sergio picked him up this morning without me knowing and let him come to church to see his family. His mom is a major alcoholic and her brain is basically gone from all the drugs before. She is doing a little better. Anyways, so Chuma is the little boy and he is 10 years old. He has a lot of issues but I adore him. I have never seen him so happy. He was like I have my mommy! Tenielle, I have my mommy! I could hardly sing in the beginning because tears filled my eyes as they walked up to be prayed for. This little boy and his mom danced together hand in hand in praises to our great God. Sergio and I began to cry as we watch them together. It was one of the happiest moments of my life, to see this little boy so incredible joyful. He hugged me so tight and kissed me on the cheek.

Right now I am able to stay at Sergio’s house for a little while, for a break and some renewing time. I have been in a lot of pain lately and Satan is definitely trying his best to bring me down. But, Sergio has helped me tremendously. He reassures me who I am in Jesus and how much he loves me. But I miss the kids a lot even just being gone for only a day now, and being able to see one of them. I miss all the hugs and love.

The other day I sat down with two of our 12 year old boys to help them with homework, Roberto and Jeovany. They are super silly and always trying to make me laugh. Well, Roberto decided that he needed to try on my glasses. So he took them off of me and he says, “wow you look different without glasses.” I was like what? Better or worse, and I smiled. Then Jeovany says, “With or without glasses you are beautiful.” I was in amazement as he told me that. Jeovany is one of my little ones that I am closet too. He calls me Mama and we talk a lot.

As I struggle and cry in front of God I keep thinking of how much I love the kids here and I know that this is the place I am suppose to be. I told God to guide me and show me what He wants for my life here and when He is ready for me to leave and serve somewhere else that I am ready to follow His will.

Privileges of living in City of Angels

This morning I woke up at 4:45am so that I could help take Jesus to the hospital for dialysis. As I was getting ready a mouse ran past my feet and under my bed. I hate mice so much. I was hoping they were finally gone and I laid out some traps. I heard one the other night and it freaked me out so I slept with the little girls on one of the bunks. The people here tease me about the mice because they are used to having them. Some still hate them just as much as I do.

Then I went outside to have a stray ugly dog run out of one of our buildings we are constructing past me. haha I laughed and thought where am I? It is like I am living in a 3^rd world country or something… haha. I waited for Israel to come out to leave for Jesus and I heard this little screaming as Israel threw a mouse on a mousetrap over this wall away from the orphanage.

So gross… It is the rainy season so I guess we are going to have more. Israel and I talked about all of it and he said you have so many privileges here… a pool in your room (from the rain water coming in under my wall getting everything wet) and you have pets crawling around your floor and bugs to keep you company. He smiled so big and said just imagine if you were serving in Africa… maybe God is preparing me for that. He said I bet instead of mice and dogs jumping out at you that I lion will. Haha. I love Israel so much and I said I know that God never said this would be easy but really I hate mice. J The blessing was is that I didn’t scream at all in seeing all these creatures come past me.

The little girls laugh at me and one night as I walked in they threw a furry stuffed animal at me and attacked me… trying to scare me even though I could hear them counting down out loud to the moment of trying to “scare me” haha. They all jumped on me and tickled me… it was horrible cause I couldn’t move. Such silly girls!

I was reading in the book of Acts last night about the life of Paul and all the crazy things he went through in sharing the gospel. I thought I couldn’t imagine being persecuted so severely. But we have to be willing to do anything for Jesus. No matter how dangerous, gross, dirty, scary, or uncomfortable. I am uncomfortable with hearing mice run across my floor but I know that it just a small thing that doesn’t even really matter and I don’t let it affect my serving here. We make it all a joke. They said why don’t you name your little friends and just get used to them being there because they are just cold. I am asking God to take away of the stupid fear and have me never to worry.

God is so good and finally my friend Jesus doesn’t have pain in his stomach! For the first time in over a month he is not in horrible pain. This morning for the first time he was smiling so big and happy… even in his time of pain he had joy in his heart but he was hurting so bad that he didn’t smile that much. But he always talked about the faithfulness of God and how much he loves Christ. My favorite things about this kid are his sense of humor, smile, and amazing faith. He has changed my heart so much and has showed me what it really means to trust God with everything in your life. I believe that I am here in Tijuana at this time to help my friend Jesus. To be a comfort, a person who loves him, and to show him even more how much God adores him. I praise the Lord for this wonderful young man in my life.

In the picture are two of my favorite little boys in the world. They are super special to me and amazing. Luis and Geovanny :)

Rainy Day in October

Today has been an exciting day of lots of rain. It seems like the past week it has been kind of rainy BUT today it has rained A LOT! Flooding the streets and making it all a mud slide.. Watergot into my room and got lots of my stuff wet but i didn't have to throw away much stuff. We are gonna fix my wall soon so this wont happen again.... maybe by fixing the holes in the bottom of my wall will make it a little warmer haha. Its all good though.. As we were driving to get something i was looking at the broken homes and how a lot have no good roofs or walls.. they must get SO much water. So sad.. so i have no room for complaining on the little thing that happened in my room.

This past week I have been working a lot with my friend Jesus who has kidney failure. I have been taking him to the hospital for dialysis and i went once with him last week to a doctor appt. to set the date for his transplant. Well we waited for 5 hours to talk to the doctor... and they talked for 15 mins and the doctor said that it should

happen in the next month or 2. I was so sad... He has been in so much pain with this stomach infection. But I am trusting that God will heal him in time.

I adore the new kids tremendously. I can't believe sometimes that i get to be in their lives :) God is good. Lots of other stuff has been happening too.. we have been talking to families about building them new homes and working with the kids. I am going to start an english class for the kids and piano lessons. They are excited about it all.

Thank you for all your prayers! I know God is working.

First week back-- feeling the most blessed i have ever been!

What can i say? But that I am blown away by the love of the people here in Mexico. I have never had a better welcome or so many hugs in one day. :) This last Tuesday's was honestly one of the best days of my life!

I started out this week on Monday-- my mom took me to Fort Morgan and some friends let me stay with them that night and took me to the airport the next morning. I was super stressed in a lot of ways but also it didn't feel real. I had a great time with my friends and they blessed me very much. I got on my knees that night and prayed deeply to Christ to reveal His will for this trip to me.. to have me focus tremendously on the kids and to just grow in God. I was woken up

before my alarm and started to get ready.. i flew out of Denver that morning around 9:30 and got to San Diego around 11:00 (their time). Aaron (our office guy) picked me up and we had a change of plans. He needed to drop me off at the border and have me walk over.. i was like ok.. i have never done that before BUT im willing to go for it! AND Sergio was picking me up on the other side!!! I was so excited. So i got across the border and saw Sergios car. I ran over and hugged him so tight! I got my mexican father again!!! It was wonderful. He then dropped me off at the orphanage where I the kids were at school but the little ones were still there and the workers. I was SO excited. I bet i was beaming!

I hugged everyone and talked for a long time. Then later the kids got home from school. They screamed so loud my name and all ran to me to hug me. I couldn't believe how much they had grown in just 2 months. Oh how i adore them all! And the new kids are amazing too! We have 9

new ones! :) That night Aaron came by with all of my bags and things were different... he said the border stopped him and looked though ALL of my stuff. they broke my zipper on my big suit case.. and everything was mixed around. and broke a few little things.. THANKs! haha but its all good.. it happens.

I think this was the most excited they had been to see me in coming back :) i can't wait to see what the next 6 months hold. Yesterday I was able to visit the hospice for a little bit. Not everyone was there cause some were able to go to something.. and also we had lost some. Then i got to see my wonderful friend Jesus (Chuy).. he is so sick . I was bawling. he has kidney failure and has been in the hospital with a stomach infection for over 20 days. Yesterday he had just gotten home and i have never seen him in such pain... i told him how much i loved him and i had to go. My heart cried out in pain for him. It was tough. I spent a lot of time with Sergio yesterday and Zack a kid who is living here too from California. It was a good day. Last night we sang songs with the kids and had a little service just like everynight.. then we prayed over the kids and it was special. I kissed and hugged them all good night.

What a blessing this place is... i feel so undeserving. i love these people more than i can ever describe. Thank you Jesus for choosing me!

heading back!!!

hey everyone,

God is SOOO good! I have been back in Nebraska for the past month or so. It has been really tough on me but God has been faithful. I know that my body is here but my heart is definitely still in Tijuana. I am heading back in less than 2 weeks! Praise the Lord! I can't wait to be hugging my mexican babies again :) they are such blessings.

Last week I was able to skype (which is a video chat) with ALL my kids and staff from the orphanage! It was spectacular! I can't even describe how much i smiled to see all their beautiful faces. :) They freaked out seeing me again and all they could say was "when are you coming back??" "i miss you! and i love you!" it made my heart so happy

and made me feel better.

I can't wait to see what God will do my next mission in Tijuana. My plan is to be there from October 5th through

March something. Haven't decided a

come home day. Im trusting God to work and lead me like He always does. I will try harder to keep my blog updated.

thanks for all the prayers and support!

Keep the SON in your eyes,

Tenielle

Beauty

Beauty-- What does it mean to be truly beautiful? From the inside out... I find that I struggle with beauty quite a bit but I am constantly reminded here that I am a beautiful daughter of the King. I feel like I am told that I am beautiful at least once a day here or more. It is something most of the people constantly tell me and a word that is said very often but in a sincere way. It is so humbling and loving. As I am at the hospice I smile at the patients with everything that I am to show them my love for them. They always say "aw que bonita" (how pretty or beautiful)... I feel like Christ must be shining through me in those moments.

I love my time here and I am super sad that I am getting toward my last week here in Tijuana for this trip. My heart has developed such a comfort and home here but I can't imagine being anywhere else. I feel like I am right in the center of God's will for my life. I am praying a lot about my time coming back even longer term. I feel like this summer was a time of growing tremendously in relationships/friendships with these beautiful people. The kids are trusting me a lot... telling me their pasts, their lives, and how much they love me. It is quite amazing to me that they love me back. :)

We have gone to the beach a lot lately. A couple from Australia came and took all the kids. It was good. I don't enjoy it as much as the kids but that is ok. We have gone a few times to another beach too. Which is fun and freeing for the kids to get out and have some time out of the orphanage. Most of the kids are still gone with their families so we love to take out the kids who have nothing out to enjoy themselves.

There was another group here the other week from Australia/ Canada. I loved them so much! I became really close with some of the people. they built a house and church in their time here. At the end of their trip they had Sergio and I come to share some time with them. I help lead worship and shared my heart on Mexico to the people. I love sharing except that I always end up crying. At the end of that night after Sergio's testimony they prayed for us. We were all crying and it was so powerful! I felt God so much! One of the guys prayed and said "God always remind tenielle that she is amazing and she has a family in Australia and Canada who are praying for her and that love her." I was so humbled because they would tell me how much they loved me and cherished me but had only knew for 2 weeks. So amazing what God can do.

I had a tough week the other week... I had a HORRIBLE sun-burn, heat rash on my legs, flea bites, emotional crisis stuff in my heart, head lice from the girls, and stomach pains. I was like God I need your strength to get better. Amazingly I was still joyful and full of peace. I hated the lice more than anything but I was okay... i mean now i understand what the girls go through almost everyday of their lives. But I love it here so much! I thank God everyday for these kids. I adore them so much. Please be praying for all of us.

my life lately

Sorry that it has been awhile since i have written but life has been busy and i keep forgetting to keep up with this! But the Lord has been working on me in such a different way then when i was living here last fall. I have been working with groups a lot and building homes. At the end of last month I was able to go with a group that took ALL the kids from the orphanage to the beach about an hour south of Tijuana. It was an interesting 3 days sleeping in tents with these girls but I had some fun and made new friends. We saw dolphins in the morning jumping out of the water and some of the kids got stung by jelly fish which made it even more of an interesting weekend.

Lately I have had a really hard time just staying focused on what God wants for me here. i keep thinking about the future and not about today. But I feel like the Lord wants me to come back here for maybe at least a year. I don't know why but I love it here so much. But I don't want to be comfortable I want to be challenged. My spanish is growing more and more everyday. I get frustrated that I don't know more but then I think back to where I was last August and I am amazed. I knew nothing coming in a year ago and now I understand over half of what they say to me. :)

A lot of the kids are on "vacation" right now because they are out of school. This orphanage is more like a foster home... each

of the kids have some sort of family still but they can't take care of them full time. Right now we have like 14 kids living here. Some are owned by the government and others can't stay with the family that they do have. I miss the kids that are away but Im so happy that they get to have some time with their families.

I went to the hospice the other day. When I am there I forget how much I miss it. There is a new guy who they have no record of his name, age, or what is wrong with him. He is like in a different world. I was trying to get his attention. He was sitting up on the bed, in a diaper, and just shaking. He is probably in his 60s and super skinny. One of his eyes was blood shot and I just stared into his eyes, smiling, and speaking to him. I grabbed his hand and spoke to him in english and spanish. Finally he looked at me and said hello. he just stared deep into my eyes... like super deep and held on to my hand super tight. I tried to get him to talk but he would go off into his other world. I would try to take my hand away and then he would almost wake up and try to talk. He didn't want to let go of my hand. He had a tight grip but i wanted to talk to other people too. i told him that i would be right back. When I walked away he reached out for me and looked me with such desperation. It made me almost cry.

There is a room in the hospice that is what I call the worst room. It is the completely bed-ridden patients. One of the last time i visited there was a man in there that was really bad. He had the smell of death and his eyes were becoming blue around the brown. He moaned in pain... Alex (one of the helpers) asked me if I would like to help clean out his wounds and change his diaper. I told him of course. I put on my mask and gloves. Alex told me "be careful blood could get everywhere it did this morning"... I feel like im in a totally different mind-set in the hospice. Because I was like Oh no problem but i think about how gross that is now. Anyways, he had this huge open wound on his back side that we had to clean out and everything. The smell was horrible. I think it was the blood and just this weird.. sweet and sour smell of death. I don't know how to explain it. But i had some people with me. Two of the oldest kids from the orphanage who are 18 and 20... and also Atheana was with me too. (a friend from home) They just watched us do all of this and I saw one of their faces... the 20 year old was so completely almost terrified and sick. He had his face covered and was in awe of everything he was seeing. We left and he was almost in tears. I know it is difficult to see and not for everyone but I tell that boy every time to think of these people as your friends and not as people who are dying.

When we were done I said goodbye to that man knowing that it was probably the last time i was going to see him. I rubbed his head and called him "abuelo" grandpa... which is a comfort thing. Then told him that God loves him. I left and was sad because I haven't been able to spend that much time with those people and truly miss it.

Also we had some graduations! One of our girls graduated from high school and I

am s proud of her. :) I went to the graduation and it was a little different than ours but a lot the same. Also two of our little ones graduated from pre-school and will be going to kinder-garden. Im so happy with all of them :) they are so special.

So life has been interesting and i know that the Lord is with me all the time. Please be praying for my friend Jesus who has kidney failure. He needs his transplant so bad. He has been in the hospital off and on lately. It scares me because I love him so much. the Lord has put a special place in my heart for Jesus. Thanks for all your prayers! it means so much that you would take time to think about me and my people. :) Please pray for me to be more focused and see the will of God in my life here in Tijuana.