I am so amazed by our great Father. I am raising support and still have quite a ways to go but it still amazes me that anyone would give. I mean... who am I to serve? To be a missionary? WOW the Lord uses you when you least expect it and when you feel so unworthy.
Constantly on the field I feel unworthy of the calling the Lord has put in front of my face but I still listen for His voice. Last night I was praying for my kids in Tijuana and my heart started to hurt. I began to cry deeply as I thought about each child. I want to help them and let them see that they CAN have a future! I want them to know my Savior like I do and even deeper. I want them to feel His presence and be amazed by His works. I want them to know how much I adore them, love them, and would do anything for them to know Christ. They need to know how special, beauitful, smart and talented they are.
With tears in my eyes, I could just feel the pain of the kids. They are so little but have been through so much. Just the thought of abandonment alone is horrifying and also some have been abused, hungry, and so much more. Pray for a little boy at the orphanage named Jesus. We call him Chuma and he just turned 11. He is on my heart a lot and I know what he has been through and the more I am in Tijuana the more I see the pain. He has a lot of troubles but has a sweet heart. I know if he would give everything to the Lord that he would be a great servant of Christ.
I watched the movie Bordertown lately and it is about the girls who were raped and murdered in Juarez, Mexico. In the movie it reminded me a lot of Tijuana. All the prostitution and poverty as they would show the city. How the police really don't care about the people and how corrupt the government is. I kept thinking of the people I cherish so much and made me believe even more that we can not be afraid. We need to stand up and truly help the people of Mexico. I hear all the time that I am crazy to serve there because it is so "horrible" but I always say... but who else will go? I have been called and I will not go against what the Lord is telling me. And the safest place for me to be is in the center of God's will!
Sergio (the missionary I work with) told me to read Isaiah 62: 1-4a, 6-7, 12 and to switch the name Jerusalem for Tijuana:
"For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent,
for Tijuana’s sake I will not remain quiet,
till her vindication shines out like the dawn,
her salvation like a blazing torch.
The nations will see your vindication,
and all kings your glory;
you will be called by a new name
that the mouth of the LORD will bestow.
You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD’s hand,
a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
No longer will they call you Deserted,
or name your land Desolate.....
I have posted watchmen on your walls, Tijuana;
they will never be silent day or night.
You who call on the LORD,
give yourselves no rest,
and give him no rest till he establishes Tijuana
and makes her the praise of the earth...
They will be called the Holy People,
the Redeemed of the LORD;
and you will be called Sought After,
the City No Longer Deserted."
The Lord is working in Tijuana and I believe He is going to change things in His time :) I leave for Tijuana on May 25th for 5 weeks then had off to Africa in September.
If you want to help with my missions you can donate at www.cwomissions.org and do down to the bottom of the page and click on "donate now" then under "donation type" scroll down to my name :)
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