Rainy Day in October

Today has been an exciting day of lots of rain. It seems like the past week it has been kind of rainy BUT today it has rained A LOT! Flooding the streets and making it all a mud slide.. Watergot into my room and got lots of my stuff wet but i didn't have to throw away much stuff. We are gonna fix my wall soon so this wont happen again.... maybe by fixing the holes in the bottom of my wall will make it a little warmer haha. Its all good though.. As we were driving to get something i was looking at the broken homes and how a lot have no good roofs or walls.. they must get SO much water. So sad.. so i have no room for complaining on the little thing that happened in my room.

This past week I have been working a lot with my friend Jesus who has kidney failure. I have been taking him to the hospital for dialysis and i went once with him last week to a doctor appt. to set the date for his transplant. Well we waited for 5 hours to talk to the doctor... and they talked for 15 mins and the doctor said that it should

happen in the next month or 2. I was so sad... He has been in so much pain with this stomach infection. But I am trusting that God will heal him in time.

I adore the new kids tremendously. I can't believe sometimes that i get to be in their lives :) God is good. Lots of other stuff has been happening too.. we have been talking to families about building them new homes and working with the kids. I am going to start an english class for the kids and piano lessons. They are excited about it all.

Thank you for all your prayers! I know God is working.

First week back-- feeling the most blessed i have ever been!

What can i say? But that I am blown away by the love of the people here in Mexico. I have never had a better welcome or so many hugs in one day. :) This last Tuesday's was honestly one of the best days of my life!

I started out this week on Monday-- my mom took me to Fort Morgan and some friends let me stay with them that night and took me to the airport the next morning. I was super stressed in a lot of ways but also it didn't feel real. I had a great time with my friends and they blessed me very much. I got on my knees that night and prayed deeply to Christ to reveal His will for this trip to me.. to have me focus tremendously on the kids and to just grow in God. I was woken up

before my alarm and started to get ready.. i flew out of Denver that morning around 9:30 and got to San Diego around 11:00 (their time). Aaron (our office guy) picked me up and we had a change of plans. He needed to drop me off at the border and have me walk over.. i was like ok.. i have never done that before BUT im willing to go for it! AND Sergio was picking me up on the other side!!! I was so excited. So i got across the border and saw Sergios car. I ran over and hugged him so tight! I got my mexican father again!!! It was wonderful. He then dropped me off at the orphanage where I the kids were at school but the little ones were still there and the workers. I was SO excited. I bet i was beaming!

I hugged everyone and talked for a long time. Then later the kids got home from school. They screamed so loud my name and all ran to me to hug me. I couldn't believe how much they had grown in just 2 months. Oh how i adore them all! And the new kids are amazing too! We have 9

new ones! :) That night Aaron came by with all of my bags and things were different... he said the border stopped him and looked though ALL of my stuff. they broke my zipper on my big suit case.. and everything was mixed around. and broke a few little things.. THANKs! haha but its all good.. it happens.

I think this was the most excited they had been to see me in coming back :) i can't wait to see what the next 6 months hold. Yesterday I was able to visit the hospice for a little bit. Not everyone was there cause some were able to go to something.. and also we had lost some. Then i got to see my wonderful friend Jesus (Chuy).. he is so sick . I was bawling. he has kidney failure and has been in the hospital with a stomach infection for over 20 days. Yesterday he had just gotten home and i have never seen him in such pain... i told him how much i loved him and i had to go. My heart cried out in pain for him. It was tough. I spent a lot of time with Sergio yesterday and Zack a kid who is living here too from California. It was a good day. Last night we sang songs with the kids and had a little service just like everynight.. then we prayed over the kids and it was special. I kissed and hugged them all good night.

What a blessing this place is... i feel so undeserving. i love these people more than i can ever describe. Thank you Jesus for choosing me!

heading back!!!

hey everyone,

God is SOOO good! I have been back in Nebraska for the past month or so. It has been really tough on me but God has been faithful. I know that my body is here but my heart is definitely still in Tijuana. I am heading back in less than 2 weeks! Praise the Lord! I can't wait to be hugging my mexican babies again :) they are such blessings.

Last week I was able to skype (which is a video chat) with ALL my kids and staff from the orphanage! It was spectacular! I can't even describe how much i smiled to see all their beautiful faces. :) They freaked out seeing me again and all they could say was "when are you coming back??" "i miss you! and i love you!" it made my heart so happy

and made me feel better.

I can't wait to see what God will do my next mission in Tijuana. My plan is to be there from October 5th through

March something. Haven't decided a

come home day. Im trusting God to work and lead me like He always does. I will try harder to keep my blog updated.

thanks for all the prayers and support!

Keep the SON in your eyes,

Tenielle

Beauty

Beauty-- What does it mean to be truly beautiful? From the inside out... I find that I struggle with beauty quite a bit but I am constantly reminded here that I am a beautiful daughter of the King. I feel like I am told that I am beautiful at least once a day here or more. It is something most of the people constantly tell me and a word that is said very often but in a sincere way. It is so humbling and loving. As I am at the hospice I smile at the patients with everything that I am to show them my love for them. They always say "aw que bonita" (how pretty or beautiful)... I feel like Christ must be shining through me in those moments.

I love my time here and I am super sad that I am getting toward my last week here in Tijuana for this trip. My heart has developed such a comfort and home here but I can't imagine being anywhere else. I feel like I am right in the center of God's will for my life. I am praying a lot about my time coming back even longer term. I feel like this summer was a time of growing tremendously in relationships/friendships with these beautiful people. The kids are trusting me a lot... telling me their pasts, their lives, and how much they love me. It is quite amazing to me that they love me back. :)

We have gone to the beach a lot lately. A couple from Australia came and took all the kids. It was good. I don't enjoy it as much as the kids but that is ok. We have gone a few times to another beach too. Which is fun and freeing for the kids to get out and have some time out of the orphanage. Most of the kids are still gone with their families so we love to take out the kids who have nothing out to enjoy themselves.

There was another group here the other week from Australia/ Canada. I loved them so much! I became really close with some of the people. they built a house and church in their time here. At the end of their trip they had Sergio and I come to share some time with them. I help lead worship and shared my heart on Mexico to the people. I love sharing except that I always end up crying. At the end of that night after Sergio's testimony they prayed for us. We were all crying and it was so powerful! I felt God so much! One of the guys prayed and said "God always remind tenielle that she is amazing and she has a family in Australia and Canada who are praying for her and that love her." I was so humbled because they would tell me how much they loved me and cherished me but had only knew for 2 weeks. So amazing what God can do.

I had a tough week the other week... I had a HORRIBLE sun-burn, heat rash on my legs, flea bites, emotional crisis stuff in my heart, head lice from the girls, and stomach pains. I was like God I need your strength to get better. Amazingly I was still joyful and full of peace. I hated the lice more than anything but I was okay... i mean now i understand what the girls go through almost everyday of their lives. But I love it here so much! I thank God everyday for these kids. I adore them so much. Please be praying for all of us.

my life lately

Sorry that it has been awhile since i have written but life has been busy and i keep forgetting to keep up with this! But the Lord has been working on me in such a different way then when i was living here last fall. I have been working with groups a lot and building homes. At the end of last month I was able to go with a group that took ALL the kids from the orphanage to the beach about an hour south of Tijuana. It was an interesting 3 days sleeping in tents with these girls but I had some fun and made new friends. We saw dolphins in the morning jumping out of the water and some of the kids got stung by jelly fish which made it even more of an interesting weekend.

Lately I have had a really hard time just staying focused on what God wants for me here. i keep thinking about the future and not about today. But I feel like the Lord wants me to come back here for maybe at least a year. I don't know why but I love it here so much. But I don't want to be comfortable I want to be challenged. My spanish is growing more and more everyday. I get frustrated that I don't know more but then I think back to where I was last August and I am amazed. I knew nothing coming in a year ago and now I understand over half of what they say to me. :)

A lot of the kids are on "vacation" right now because they are out of school. This orphanage is more like a foster home... each

of the kids have some sort of family still but they can't take care of them full time. Right now we have like 14 kids living here. Some are owned by the government and others can't stay with the family that they do have. I miss the kids that are away but Im so happy that they get to have some time with their families.

I went to the hospice the other day. When I am there I forget how much I miss it. There is a new guy who they have no record of his name, age, or what is wrong with him. He is like in a different world. I was trying to get his attention. He was sitting up on the bed, in a diaper, and just shaking. He is probably in his 60s and super skinny. One of his eyes was blood shot and I just stared into his eyes, smiling, and speaking to him. I grabbed his hand and spoke to him in english and spanish. Finally he looked at me and said hello. he just stared deep into my eyes... like super deep and held on to my hand super tight. I tried to get him to talk but he would go off into his other world. I would try to take my hand away and then he would almost wake up and try to talk. He didn't want to let go of my hand. He had a tight grip but i wanted to talk to other people too. i told him that i would be right back. When I walked away he reached out for me and looked me with such desperation. It made me almost cry.

There is a room in the hospice that is what I call the worst room. It is the completely bed-ridden patients. One of the last time i visited there was a man in there that was really bad. He had the smell of death and his eyes were becoming blue around the brown. He moaned in pain... Alex (one of the helpers) asked me if I would like to help clean out his wounds and change his diaper. I told him of course. I put on my mask and gloves. Alex told me "be careful blood could get everywhere it did this morning"... I feel like im in a totally different mind-set in the hospice. Because I was like Oh no problem but i think about how gross that is now. Anyways, he had this huge open wound on his back side that we had to clean out and everything. The smell was horrible. I think it was the blood and just this weird.. sweet and sour smell of death. I don't know how to explain it. But i had some people with me. Two of the oldest kids from the orphanage who are 18 and 20... and also Atheana was with me too. (a friend from home) They just watched us do all of this and I saw one of their faces... the 20 year old was so completely almost terrified and sick. He had his face covered and was in awe of everything he was seeing. We left and he was almost in tears. I know it is difficult to see and not for everyone but I tell that boy every time to think of these people as your friends and not as people who are dying.

When we were done I said goodbye to that man knowing that it was probably the last time i was going to see him. I rubbed his head and called him "abuelo" grandpa... which is a comfort thing. Then told him that God loves him. I left and was sad because I haven't been able to spend that much time with those people and truly miss it.

Also we had some graduations! One of our girls graduated from high school and I

am s proud of her. :) I went to the graduation and it was a little different than ours but a lot the same. Also two of our little ones graduated from pre-school and will be going to kinder-garden. Im so happy with all of them :) they are so special.

So life has been interesting and i know that the Lord is with me all the time. Please be praying for my friend Jesus who has kidney failure. He needs his transplant so bad. He has been in the hospital off and on lately. It scares me because I love him so much. the Lord has put a special place in my heart for Jesus. Thanks for all your prayers! it means so much that you would take time to think about me and my people. :) Please pray for me to be more focused and see the will of God in my life here in Tijuana.

Working on my heart

This last weekend went really well in Ohio. We raised over $1000 for Sergio and the orphanage. It was such a blessing. I found myself crying by the end of each speech. Saturday night we had a special benefit dinner. I sang and spoke at that for quite awhile. Also Sergio’s granddaughter was there to talk about her time of living in the orphanage and growing up with the kids.

I talked about everything that I could think of. It seems that I walk on the stage really not knowing what I will say but God just speaks through me and leaves me in tears by the end. I truly love the people in Tijuana and I can’t imagine my life without them. They are such blessings and have changed my life forever.

Sunday morning was fun. I was able to sing with the worship team and talk a little about everything. The church that I was with is a multi-racial and multi-cultural church but most of the people are black. I was actually the only white person on the worship team. Haha. It was interesting… they sing songs that I know but in a different way so I had fun doing something different.

Israel the director of the orphanage had surgery yesterday but is doing great. He is taking some days off to heal and just rest. I believe the rest is what he needed anyways. He hasn’t had a day off in a long time. I am in Chicago right now in the airport waiting for my flight to San Diego. I am so excited to see the kids today! I have missed them in the last five days that I have been gone. I can’t wait to hug and kiss them. J

The Lord has been working on my heart a lot this weekend. I have had time just to think and relax… and just be away. I mean I was busy some days but other days I just watched movies and spent time with different people. The sermon was about not worrying and being a “Robin hood” for Christ. I needed the part about not worrying. I mean I know that our God is all powerful and in control but I still fight when I feel lost. I hate letting people get to me, especially when they treat me bad and I’m trying to evaluate what is wrong with me. I need to realize that I am important to Christ and what He thinks of me is the only thing that matters. I am trying to figure out my security in Christ but I have a feeling it will be a constant battle for some time.

I am super excited because the Pastor of church came up to me and told me that he is going to talk to the elders about supporting Sergio monthly! What a blessing and exactly what we need! I know Go brought me to Sergio and Baja Vision Ministries at this time for a reason… and one of those reasons is to help set up this support system for Sergio so he can keep doing what he loves to do.

I thank God for this weekend and I know that it was all in His hands. But now I’m so ready to be back in Mexico and at the orphanage. The more I come back to America the more I realize it’s not my home. I find that I don’t even miss home very often when I’m in Mexico and that the people I work with have become family to me and Tijuana has become not comfortable but a home for my weary heart.

My life right now

Right now I am in Colombus, Ohio for the weekend. I am talking at a church here on behave of Baja Vision Ministries to raise money for my orphanage and Sergio. I feel that this time has been relaxing and kind of a free time to go through different thoughts of my life. Mexico has been super busy! Last week I spent almost every single day building a house with a group from Nebraska. It was kind of tough for me because I hardly saw any of my kids. I would leave in the morning before they wake up and get back when they were in bed. It was super crazy and time just flew by.

Right now my friend Atheana is staying at the orphanage for two weeks. She came two days before I left to come to Ohio. I know the Lord will touch her heart in this time. There is another guy who is staying at the orphanage who just graduating from high school and is from northern California. I enjoy having other Americans around and it seems different though sometimes. I have gotten used to having to deal with my broken spanish to talking to everyone in it so to be able to speak complete english to someone is nice.

My spanish has been growing a lot. I feel like I am understanding a lot more recently. I really have to listen and think. I wish i could speak it better though. One day I know that I will. I have been thinking a lot about moving full time to Mexico. I truly feel at home when im staying at the orphanage and working with everyone. Sergio blows me away and brings tears to my eyes with his amazing stories and faith. But i have also been thinking a lot about Africa and talking to someone about going there for like 6 months. I guess I will just wait and see where the Lord leads me.

Please be praying for Sergio and all of us. We need to be lifted up. Right now we are struggling with money in the ministry but God is faithful. We are trying really hard to raise some support and I hope everything works. I am just trying to give it all to God since I have no control. haha

thanks again for all your support and prayers so far! I cant believe i have been living in Tijuana for around a month and 1/2 so far.